The Truth Hurts

I'm in the bathroom, scrubbing the sink. Saoirse comes and stands in the doorway.

Saoirse: Yous got a really big bum.

Me: What was that? (I'm giving her a chance to quickly correct herself. I know she's only 3, but surely she understands that this is a massive faux pas.)

Saoirse: Yous got a really big bum.

Me: Oh, really? (Honestly, I'm just setting myself up for punishment.)

Saoirse: Yeah, you does. But mine isn't big. I just have a little bum.


Sign number two that I must seriously lose weight.

Thanks Saoirse.

Love you.

And your little bum.

And I even love your big mouth.

My parents chose the wrong city to live in

I don't like heat. Have I mentioned that in the midst of summer when +30 is creeping up and my house feels like a sauna? Heat and I? We aren't good friends. I should say weren't, because never before have I prayed for a summmer day like I did today.

Do you know what the temperature was in Edmonton with the wind chill? -46!!! That's -50.8 for those of you south of the border. Which, if you've not yet experienced it, is freaking cold!

And with these extreme temperatures, that we have not seen for a good few years, came blowing snow. The roads were horrid when William took me to work yesterday. We saw 2 accidents at 2 different entrances to the mall, one involving 4 cars. It annoys me immensely that people seem to forget that they live in a city where it snows 5 months of the year and they don't adpat to winter conditions. Honestly. Some fecker changed lanes right in front of us without signalling, right at the sight of one of the accidents. Dumb ass. Did he not wonder how this accident may have been caused? Probably some eejit who didn't signal!


On the way home at 10.30 I said that if the roads are as bad in the morning I wouldn't send Liam to school, knowing that his bus would probably be over an hour late. I looked out my window this morning, which was totally frosted over on the inside and saw he wouldn't even be able to open the gate.

So I called his school and told him he could stay in bed. About 15 minutes later his driver called and said that she wouldn't be picking him up, there was no heat in the bus. That would have been a mighty cold 45 minutes had she driven today. The roads are supposed to be worse tomorrow, and it's still going to be cold. Taylor is trying to get out of school, but I am not as kind to her. Currently, she has perfect attendance and I would like her to maintain that. Her teacher informed them that if it hits -50 with the wind chill they cancel school. So really, she only has another 4 degrees to go.

I don't want 4 kids home tomorrow, I got almost nothing done today, so I am hoping for warmer weather.

Especially because tomorrow is my girls night out. And we're going to Moxies, which just happens to be my favourite restaurant.

A Conversation with the DMV chickie

Emma: I'd like to renew my license.
DMV chickie: Sure. What's your address?
E: lists off address. I'd tell you, internet, but I don't want some stranger at my door.
DMV: Date of birth?
E: 16th of December, 19!! (It wasn't such a high age when this story takes place.)
DMV: Height?
E, sighing: 5'3"
DMV: Weight?
E: Do I have to tell you?
DMV: Yes.
E: It really needs to be on my license?
DMV: It does.
E: Do I have to tell you the truth?
DMV: No.
E: How about (names a nice low number). No, no one would ever believe that. How about we say (names another number, higher, but not totally unreasonable.)
DMV: OK
E: If only it were really so easy to lose weight.

The reason I tell you this long ago story (1997, to be exact) is because I need a new license. And my weight? It's holding me back from going. The original 1997 weight that I was so reluctant to share is now my dream weight.

People. I am FAT. I knew I was. I knew it. But yesterday I found out my BMI. And holy freaking Hannah. I knew it would be up there but I was shocked at just how high it was. I am a heart ataack waiting to happen.

It ends now. I called my friend Nancy and we are going to join the Y. Safety in numbers and all that. I am starting a weight loss blog where I may actually be brave enough to post my real weight. I want to document my journey from fat to not so fat (I`m being realistic...I`m never going to be skinny.) I just want to be able to say my weight without hanging my head in shame, I want to be able to play with my kids for a long time coming, I want to not always be covering bits and pieces during the oh so few intimate times in my life. Seriously, I wouldn`t want to have sex with me...what makes me think William would want to. (I know that`s a question...I`ve lost the use of my question mark. It`s coming up like this- É. Bloody new keyboard. I liked my old ucky one. Someone tells me how to fix this please!)

Well, now that I`ve just put way too much info about myself out there I`m off to drink my hundredth glass of water for the day.

I'd eat it anyway

So y'all know how much I hate cooking right? I mean I hate it and despise it and dread 4 pm everyday when I have to get dinner started. If I didn't have William to feed my kids would survive on mac and cheese. The kind from the box.

So what on earth would make me sign up for Pensieve's Snackalicious Super Dishes contest?

I don't know either.

But I do have one recipe, just one, that I am required to make at birthday parties and on the odd occassion I actually go scrapbooking crop night. People actually ask me to make it. Can you believe it? No, me either. But they do.

It would be my cheesy chicken enchiladas and I posted the recipe here once before at a reader's request. Never did here what he thought of them, so maybe they aren't as great as my friends lead me to believe.

We had these on Monday and had I been smart I would have taken pictures of the process and the final result. Am I smart? Not so much.

Here goes:

4 chicken breasts, cut into bite size pieces
a couple of cloves of garlic, or the minced sort
1 onion, chopped
Cook until lightly browned. Meanwhile, mix the following in a large bowl:

most of a 500mL container of sour cream
healthy doses of pepper, cumin, allspice, chili powder and Mexican seasoning if you so desire
1 can of mushrooms, drained (we leave these out at home, since I am the only who likes them)
1 can of green chiles (the actual recipe says to drain, but it's better left)
a handful of jalpeno peppers. (I just add these later, as none of the kids but for Sophie like them. I know. They are weird.)

Mix the chicken mixture into the bowl.

Place a few spoonfuls of the mixture into soft shells (large or small) and add grated cheese. (and jalapenos should you have fussy eaters around.)

Cook at 350 (or 175 depending on where you are) for 15 minutes. Take out and top with remainder of sour cream and some more cheese. Put in oven for another 5 mins.

Large tortillas will make about 8, small about 12.

Because I don't feel like cleaning my house...

That Random Mommy. This meme is a challenge. But I think I'm up to it. And because I don't want to called a whore, I am even going to name names.

Why do you blog? So I can hold on to what little grasp of sanity I have left. I started blogging in the summer of 2005 after reading a couple of articles about blogging. As a person who keeps a lot to herself it was a good way to get my thoughts out there. Once people started commenting, it was great to have other opinions and some validation. And support. Fuck, the support on here is beyond amazing. I have a hard time telling my friends in real life what is going on, so it's nice to have this outlet. Plus I can erase if need be. Like today, I left a post up for all of about 2 minutes and then took it down. Had I said out loud what I wrote here, I never could have taken it back. And for that 2 minutes that that post was up I needed it there. I needed to say that that I hate parts of my life and that I wanted to to do nothing but lie in bed and cry. (I'm not feeling so much like that now.)

What was the first blog you ever read? I can't even remember what it was called. I found it on IrishBlogs.ie. The site used to be way better laid out and down the sidebar was a list of blogs linked to it. This blogger was from Dublin, but living in Birmingham. I had to read a blog about a guy from my second favourite city in the world who was living in my hometown. Not sure whatever happened to him, I lost the link.

What was the first blog that had you hooked? Another two that I came across on Irish blogs, United Irelander and Red Mum. UI isn't posting these days, but Red Mum is still blogging. She even got a column out of her blog and her photos are amazing. Plus I found two of my favourite bloggers through her, Boliath and Beccy.

Which blogger friend would you most like to meet in real person? Oh, this is a hard one. If you're on my blogroll or should be on my blogroll (I suck at updating) then I want to meet you. If I comment on your blog (even if it's once in a blue moon because I really, really suck at commenting these days) then I want to meet you. And if you're someone who still comments on my blog, even though I am oh so rarely commenting on yours then I definitely want to meet you. I was thinking of saying that I don't want to meet anyone who weighs less than me since it would just make me that much more insecure, but that pretty much eliminates my entire blogroll. So since Random Mommy says we should pick one I am going to pick Boliath. Why? Because I really think she would be like the big sister I never had. Plus, she's been commenting on my blog almost since I started. This does not mean that I don't want to meet everyone else. Remember, should I ever win the lottery, you are all invited to my Camp David-like compound. Once it's built of course.

Which blog do you admire the most, why? I admire so many!
That Chick, M, Rachel, Joy, CPA Mom and Blue Momma for honesty in blogging. Random Mommy,
Ohio Blue Eyes and
Girl From Florida, because I envy their sex lives and their willingness to talk about it. Catwoman, Emily and Alissa for making me laugh everyday. La Bella Mammina, Chrisb, Sandy, Beccy, Frannie and Tiger Lamb Girl for being quite possibly the nicest bloggers ever. Lisa, for being a survivor. I could go on and on, really. But I feel like I've been linking forever.

How different are you in real life than in your blog? Oh, so different! I am very, very shy, almost painfully so. I don't start conversations in real life. I sometimes join in, but not often. I'm also really insecure. This probably does come across in my blog though.

How many blogs do you keep up with on a daily basis? In the last few months I have been really bad. Really, really bad. I check numerous blogs everyday. I try to get through a bit of my blogroll each day. I do find, though, that I check Catwoman's blog everyday. This may because she comments on almost every post I write, it may because she makes me laugh, it may be because she is one of my longest reads. There's a loyalty there I think. Frankly, I would love to be unemployed and have a housekeeper so that I would have no guilt over reading blogs for hours on end.

Link to your 123rd post. Or your 3rd, if you don't have 123. It's from February of 2006 and is all about how on a quest for organization I searched out my house for missing CDs. Probably not worth reading unless you want to know about my musical tastes.

It's a small world after all.

I very rarely check my stats (although I used to obsess over it), but for some reason the other week I did. And I was looking I noticed that someone had come over to me from a blog I had never heard of. So I went over to said blog and read it as you do. And I linked to one of the comments and guess what?

It's the cousin of my ex husband!

Which totally freaked me out. Because it meant I couldn't leave a comment on that person's blog. Because what if she came and read me? And put two and two together? Now I can't say that she even knows anything about me, for all I know she doesn't even know what Taylor and Liam's names are. I've never met her, but I did meet her parents a grand total of twice. I don't think Taylor and Liam have met her.

I'm not saying that it would be a bad thing if she knew who I was. I don't think I have said anything negative about H or his parents (although I did forget to mention that my ex MIL bought the two girls gifts at Christmas, which I thought was super sweet) except for perhaps when I have briefly talked about H's illness, which I still say he should have known about years before it began to affect him. But you know, the past is the past. And I do know people in real life that read this, but hopefully they won't judge me too badly for screaming bloody murder at the daughter who drives me to the point of demention.

So anyway, I'm wondering do I comment on her blog, or even the original blog that led me to her, and say "Hey! I know you! (or your friend, if I leave it on the first blog) I'm not really a freak, I swear!" or do I just leave it?

Because everyone loves a poll...

It won't be as good as comparing your lover to a sporting event, but it something I have wondered about and was reminded of when I visited a new blog I am reading called My Friend Said I Should. ( I wish my friends would listen when I say they should start blogging...hint, hint.) She was recently on a holiday to the States and noticed that while they have plenty of toilet seat covers, no one takes off their shoes in the house. The post itself is very funny, go read it. I'll wait.

Back? Wasn't that worth leaving me for? Oh, it made me laugh. I'm assuming that none of my American readers are easily offended, otherwise maybe you won't find it as funny as I did.

So here's my poll question...do you take your shoes off when you come into the house. Now, you can't just answer the poll and leave, you must leave a comment saying where you are from.

And hopefully in a week I will be able to answer the question everyone is now going to be asking:

"Are Canadians the only people who take their shoes off at the door?"

You know you're good parents when...

...you supply your daughter with almost half the money for her new laptop, even though your own computer is on its last legs.

For Christmas Taylor received $280 in Best But gift cards from her dad and his family and my mum and brother each gave her $100. She was supposed to save the $100 she earned babystitting on New Years Eve. She didn't of course, she went skiing a couple of times and to the store and the mall and had a grand total of $10 left. Which now that I think about it, was probably from babysitting last Friday evening. I still owed her $150 from her honours report card so all told she had $640.

The laptop she wanted was on sale for $699.95, $200 off. Of course, they didn't have it. She looked at a few others, all higher in price. The guy was trying to convince her to get one that was $899 and I was saying "No way, she hasn't saved nearly enough." And anyway, what 12 year old needs a computer with everything? Not mine.

We found another one for $699, and she went with that. And then we added the 2 year warranty for $180. With the recyling fee (only $5- I thought it was $25) and the GST we ended up spending almost $930. I told her she would be babysitting for a long time to pay off the $290 we lent her.

She set it all up tonight. She was supposed to configure it, but who listens to their mother? She created accounts for everyone, though I am not sure she will actually let any of us use it. She and Liam had a game of Scrabble and at bedtime were playing Wheel of Fortune. Tomorrow we are going to get her a wireless router so she can actually have internet access. Because quite frankly, I am not sure what people did with computers before the advent of the world wide web. I know I had no use for them. Hmmm...maybe we should have asked for a router for free instead of a laptop bag. That would have been smart.

The Power of Faith

A little while ago, when I was worried that my hernia was actually a tumour- oh, the paranoia!-, I was going to post about faith, and belonging to a church. I am not saying that the two necessarily go hand in hand, I am sure that there are lots of people with a whole lot of faith that never set foot in a church and I know for a fact that there are weekly churchgoers who certainly show very little faith.

It is something I have thought about often, but not done anything about. When my friend's husband was diagnosed with stomach cancer in 2000 they had quite a bit of support from their church for the two months before his death. Meals prepared, prayers, babysitting....it was a good thing. I am not sure where they were after his death though.

I thought that having such a support system would be great. This was around the time that my then husband was becoming quite ill, and I wished we properly "belonged" to my church, rather than just being registered members who hardly ever attended. But I never felt comfortable with that church family, and would have felt hypocritical going only because of possible what ifs.

For me, becoming comfortable with a church would literally mean giving up my religion, as my beliefs to do not fall in line with the Catholic church at all. I know that I would fit in better with a liberal Protestant church, but I am currently struggling with the word 'Protestant'. I am just not ready to say that I am not a Catholic, no matter how lapsed I may be.

And while I may not believe that I am actually eating the body of Christ during communion, I certainly believe in God. It wasn't until Taylor was born that I realized how much I believed that we need to have faith in something. Taylor's father was against her being baptized in any faith and for 6 months I insisted that she be baptized. My reasoning was that should she need something to believe in, it is there for her. Don't ask me how I managed to win that battle with that line as my argument. But I did, and she was baptized at 8 months. I have not yet won it for Sophie though.

The reason I am bringing this up now is because yesterday I was reading Wendy's blog and she linked to this site.

I was hooked. This is the blog of Nate, whose wife Tricia has Cystic Fibrosis. While waiting for a double lung transplant, they discovered they were expecting. Their daughter Gwyneth was born at 25 weeks on January 8. Tricia is now on a ventilator.

The faith of this man, and his family, absolutely overwhelms me. I am beyond words. To me, this story is the proof of the power of faith. I do believe that God is providing him with the strength to get through this every single day, whereas I can almost guarantee that my family would fall apart at the seams. I am not saying that I do not believe in God, or have no faith. I just have not taken the time to explore my faith. I believe, I just do not believe enough. And that makes me sad.

Nate's faith, his family's faith, their friends, their church, and the prayers of hundreds of blog readers, will get his family through this difficult time. And that is amazing. Absolutely astounding.

Poop, Puppies and Prizes. Oh, and books too.

Sophie had 5 BM's today. By tonight her poor little bum was so red. She has never had a proper diaper rash before, just some occasional redness. However, she screams bloody murder when you try and wipe it and is all over the place trying to get away. My house abounds with poop. This morning she and Saoirse were playing up in their room and I was on the phone. She came screaming down the stairs and I see that she was without a nappy. "I poo! I poo!" she is yelling. I went to pick her up and thank God I looked first as her behind was covered! I wash her up and up the stairs I go to find the missing nappy, praying that it is not on their brand new bunk bed. (Yes, I know...too young for bunk beds. Saoirse's going on the bottom- I hope-, Sophie's still in her crib and will move onto the toddler bed. I'm planning for the future here.) On the landing there is some poo, as well as at the top of the stairs. Usually she just walks down the stairs, but I'm guessing she sat first at each landing. Uck. No poop in the room though, just in the diaper. Lucky. I scrubbed the two spots on the stairs and thankfully, it came out quite nicely. Later on, after the third poop of the day, I had changed her and forgot to bring out a nappy. Went to get one and what does she do but poop on the livingroom rug while I am gone. It scared her for some reason, and once again she was crying "I poo! I poo!" And yet another spot for me to scrub at. 'Twas a fun filled day.

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A couple at William's work have offered him their 5 month old Australian cattle dog. William has a blue heeler back in Australia, so obviously he is very fond of this breed. This puppy looks more like a dingo according to the owner, so I'm guessing it is more of a red heeler. Hearing the word dingo makes me think of babies taken in the night, but I'm assured the ACD is an excellent family dog. The owners are moving back to Newfoundland (I swear to you everyone around here is from Newfoundland...I wish it were half my neighbours leaving instead.) and have decided not to take the dog. We talked about taking her last night and today we asked the kids. Taylor and Liam are all for it, with Taylor volunteering to walk her 3 times a day (that'll last all of 0 days) and Liam saying he will pick up the mess in the backyard. Saoirse was the only one against it, as she wants a cat she can name Ariel. Once we said we would take the dog, she said "Okay, but can I call it Ariel?" Her name is Ducky. I know, what the? Before I knew she was female I said maybe we could call it Decky, short for Declan. Not too big a change, and shouldn't confuse her too much. My friend tells me that at 5 months they do take quite well to name changes. I'm voting for Ruari (Rory), a name that those of you who have been around long enough may remember was considered for Sophie. I'm especially fond of it if the dog does end up being a red heeler as it means "red king." I will be sure to show photos as soon as she arrives. Apparently, she is super affectionate and likes to be cuddled so I am sure there will be many pictures with the kids.

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Waaay back in December I did a post in which I asked this: "My daughter's school is named after someone from the court of King Henry VIII. Tell me who it is, what fate befell him/her and what you think her school mascot would be."

I offered a prize to the person who could get all 3 answers. And then my computer died. And then I got sick. And I just sort of put it on the back burner. So along with the huge pile of stuff I have to mail out I am adding two more things to the only two people to answer all three correctly...AFF and Alix. (Alix, I will need your address.) Now, I was going to make you a handful of cards, but the cards I have made right now are all spoken for, and if we wait for me to make some you'll be waiting until kingdom come. So in the next wee while I will be on a mission to find something.

For those with an interest the correct answer, taken directly from the school website is this:

"Our Patron Saint
St. Th0mas M0re is the Patron Saint of lawyers. He was beheaded by Henry VIII in 1535 because he steadfastly refused to approve Henry's divorce from Catherine of Aragon and his establishment of the Church of England. St. Th0mas M0re's refusal to compromise his own moral values for the sake of self-interest inspires us as we struggle to live lives of faith and holiness." and the mascot: "We are the “HOME OF THE KNI.GHTS”.
Chosen out of respect for St. Th0mas M0re, who was himself a Kni.ght."

I could just be forgetful, but I'm pretty sure that when I went to STM 20 some years ago, we were not called the Kni.ghts. And we definitely did not have nice logos on our gym clothes like they do now. In fact, we didn't have gym uniforms until I got to high school. ( Mac Marau.ders...a little Scottish guy in a kilt and with a sword. I always thought it was an odd choice for a Catholic school.)

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Damn the word books for not starting with a p. It would have given me a theme of sorts. So I mentioned in my resolutions post that I was going to keep track of the books I read this year in my sidebar. If you want to join me that would be great. The lovely Blue Momma is even willing to make me a button for it. Once I tell her what I want that is.

All that is required is that you keep track of the books you've read in your sidebar, and link them to Amazon or Chapters or whoever. I hope to read one a week (I'm on my 6th right now, so I think I'm doing pretty good 14 days into the New Year) but if you're a once a month kind of gal- or guy- that is perfectly fine. Hmmm...sounds like my sex life I'm describing there. I also plan on blogging about the books I have read about once a month. I say I plan on it, that certainly doesn't mean I will ever do it. Come on, it's me we're talking about here. So no pressure at all if that is not something you want to do. At the end of the year, I hope to do a book swap; where perhaps we send our favourite read of the year to a fellow bookclub blogger. I'm currently calling this "Reading throughtout 2008" but if you have a better name let me know.

Kudos to you if you actually read the whole thing.

Fun Monday- My Chosen Websites

The host for today's Fun Monday is Ann from For the Long Run, who just happens to live in my dream country. You know if the prices were at all reasonable. But since buying a house in Ireland is even more unrealistic than buying one in Canada, I will just have to live vicariously through bloggers in Ireland.

Anyway, Ann's challenge is this:

"For today's Fun Monday, I want to hear about a web site that's changed your life. A web site that you can't live without. A web site whose inventor you'd like to see win a McArthur Genius Grant. A lot of people have said that they didn't think they could narrow it down to one, and that's okay. A top-5 list or a top-3 list is completely acceptable."

I am not sure that I could say that any website has changed my life (though Ann's chosen website may quickly become a firm favourite) but I definitely have ones that I like to look at daily.

First off, there is the For Better or For Worse website, which is the home of my all time favourite comic strip. This comic is almost 30 years old, and unlike most strips, the characters have aged. It is loosely based on the author, Lynn Johnston's, real life. I once went to a show she did, and she was just amazing. Afterwards she did a book signing and when I met her I told her that many times she had saved my sanity when I was sometimes willing to swing for my children. It was good for me to know that even comic strip characters sometimes yell at their kids, and feel guilty about it, as you can see on the strip here, which I think was originally from 1979.



Since becoming a Stampin' Up demonstrator I have been a frequent visitor to the Stampin' Up website. As a demonstrator, I have access to more designs and templates than what you see on the regular site, so I am enjoying that. And for you crafty people in England, Stampin' Up has finally made its way to you. Take advantage I say. I also like Splitcoast Stampers. The link will lead you to where I copied the layout for one of the Christmas cards I did this year. I used different colours and no ribbon, but the basic layout was the same. As I have said before, I have no imagination, but I copy fairly well. Unfortunately I took no pictures of my final product, which annoys me and my cards made file folder to no end.

And finally, there is Facebook. Oh, how I love facebook. A few of William's family members in Australia have finally joined up so it is a great way to let them see photos of the kids. I have discovered that I suck at Scrabulous, much like I suck at Scrabble in real life. I have found friends from elementary, junior high and high school, old work mates, and have connected with bloggers outside of the blogosphere. I even have a few enemies on my friends list. Yes, I love facebook.

Oh, and all you people? The ones listed on my sidebar and the ones I keep meaning to list on my sidebar? If I had to choose, your blogs are the sites I couldn't live without.

Special Delivery

It is, as far as I know, very rare to receive post in Canada on a Sunday. The Sunday before Christmas must be an exception. I came downstairs to see that a box had arrived and it was my ornament from Julie's Christmas Ornament Swap. I was very excited as I had reserved a spot dead centre on the front of the tree for the ornament.

And how lucky I was to find that it was from Lisa, whose blog is full of amazing photographs and beautiful children and even a grandchild.

A couple of days before the ornament arrived I was talking to a friend about my ideal tree and I said that it would be snowmen, with the odd polar bear thrown in for good measure. I love snowmen, I put the "snow" decorations out on November 1st and usually leave them up until mid March when the snow is getting really disgusting and my St. Patrick's Day decorations come out.

So what do you think my ornament should be but a snowman. It's like Lisa read my mind.



Thanks Lisa! I love it, and it will be on my tree each and every year and I will think of you when I put it up (since I always tell stories about the ornaments...which drives some people crazy.) And thanks to Julie for organizing such a great swap. I hope there's one next year.

The funny thing about permission letters

I had quite a few comments the other day about permission letters to fly solo with a child. And it's a great idea, in theory. What is not so great is that the letter isn't always asked for.

My examples:

When Taylor was 4 my mum took her to Vancouver. She was not asked for the letter at either airport, coming or going.

Ditto when Liam was 5.

This past summer when we went to Nelson, Taylor and Liam stayed an extra week with my mum. They flew from Castlegar to Vancouver to Edmonton. 3 airports that did not ask for the letter.

Lest you think it's just our lax Canadian security (since you know all terroists in the States come via Canada) William flew to Melbourne and back with Saoirse via numerous airports...Edmonton, Vancouver, Honalulu, Sydney, Melbourne. He was not asked for that letter once in the 10 times he should have been asked.

My mother flew with Taylor to London via Vancouver. Not asked for the letter coming or going. She was asked for the letter once, at the French end of the chunnel when they went to EuroDisney.

26 out of 27 times that permission letter was not asked for. And we wonder how it is that parents manage to cross international borders with children in custody disputes.


And totally off topic, I will post about the online book club this weekend. We'll see what comes together.

Thursday Thirteen- 13 Things Sophie Says

In honour of Sophie's 17 month birthday I present you with 13 things she says that make me smile. I had planned on saying "complete with pictures" but that would have required uploading and being on the computer for awhile. And have you noticed how little I am commenting? Peeps*, my house is actually clean. I am on my fifth book of the New Year. (More on my little book club later...some people were actually interested!)

*I always think peeps in my head but never actually say it. Lucky youse, I will probably never say it again. Being that I'm not really a 15 year old boy with pants hanging off my ass and all.

Onto to my Sophie-isms:

1) Chocolate milk, please. Her answer if she is offered homo or chocolate.

2) Tank you. I love how polite toddlers are. If she happens to not say thank you, you do get a great big smile. Especially if it's something great like the pink butterfly wings, wand and skirt that Shelley brought over last week. And really? A smile is almost as good.

3) Good girl! She's says this about herself whenever she does something that should warrant it. Sometimes she will just say "Yea!" She also says "Good God!" which I find slightly amusing in a guilty sort of way. I did not realize how much I said it myself. Oops.

4) Soar-sha! She pronounces Saoirse's name in a very sing song way. If I sing song 'Sophie' she will always reply with 'Soar-sha.'

5) Not Daddy. The other day I went into the bathroom and closed the door over, but didn't shut it. She yelled out 'Daddy!' and pushed it open. I said "I'm not Daddy. What's my name?' and she said 'Not Daddy.' So that's who I am now. Not even good enough to warrant my own title.

6) Peek-a-boo! I hear this all the time. When a shirt goes on or comes off, when she places a blanket over her head, when I am drying what little hair she has. She loves a good game of peek-a-boo.

7) Here I am! Just a slight alternative to peek a boo.

8) Oh, there you are. Always said with a certain element of surprise, as though when I walk out of the livingroom and into the kitchen I am going to disappear off the face of the earth.

9) Go, go, go! Her name for Go Diego Go. She loves the theme song and when it comes on she yells out 'Go, go, go!' and claps her hands. But usually once the song is over she loses interest in the actual show.

10) Swiper, stop swiping! This one doesn't come out quite right, but definitely this is what she is saying whenever she sees Swiper in a Dora book. She even uses her hand as though she is smacking him (and honest to God that is not something she has seen in this house.) Maybe it's just her version of holding her hand up for stop.

11) Cheese! This is the one where I really need a photo to illustrate. I can not take a picture of her without her saying cheese, tilting her head up and screwing up her eyes. It makes me laugh, but I really would like a nice picture of her.

12) Tickle, tickle. She tickles a cat in one of her books, she takes off her socks and tickles her own feet (cutest thing ever!) and tickles anyone who will let her, all the while saying 'Tickle, tickle.'

13) Mmmmm...good. Having experienced the fussy eater that is Saoirse, it is nice to have a child who is willing to try anything. The first food to get the 'mmmm...good' approval were black and green olives last summer in BC.

The Fallout

I made a huge mistake in my fight with William the other week. I involved my mother. Why did I do this? Normally, when William and I fight I keep it to myself. I never tell my mother and if I tell my friends it is afterwards, when things are calm and I can talk about it in a c'est la vie sort of way.

I think that in my head when the fight started I was like "If you want to do this again, mister, than I am going to tell the world." Because in my not so right head, I was thinking that if I told my mother we wouldn't get back together again, that this it, we are over. With having been so depressed throughout most of November and December I just really don't think I could handle his anger. And what better way to stop it than ending things permanently?

Which really sounds stupid. Thinking that if I told my mum I'd not want to get back with him. Hmmm... Anyway, I don't really want to get into all the details of the fight, since it is over and things are going quite good for the moment. Will that last? Well, it is William and I so probably not. Will I let him bother me over stupid things like the house again? No. I know what to say now.

I will say that William left and my mother came over. But before she arrived William came back. And when she got here, even though I asked her not to go at him, she did. When William is angry he swears. So he was swearing at my mum, she was saying the same things over and over and I was crying. Not pretty.

The next day William and I talked, and as you all know, agreed to go to counselling. When my mum called that day to see how things were I told her this. She was fine and was fine again the next day when we talked. She did ask if I had gotten Saoirse's passport back off of William. (Oh, I suppose this is vital to the story...I had given him her passport because I was quite sure he wouldn't actually use it. Even though he was saying he would.) I said no, and she said "You need to get it."

Everything was fine with her the next day (New Years Day) as well. But on Wednesday she called me and we were talking and she asks if I have the passport yet. No, I say. And fuck, did she go after me. "You have to get it and give it to me." I said that yes, I would get the passport, but that no, I most definitely would not give it to her. That would do my relationship absolutely no favours. And besides, I know he wouldn't take her. She then went on about how information I had been given by the RCMP was wrong and that William is not considered her father just because he signed some piece of paper. I said that of course he is, he is as much her father as I am her mother. She argued it with me "They are wrong! They don't know what they are talking about!" In this respect my mother is very much like William...she does not like to be wrong! She ended our conversation by saying that the next time this happens ("and if you don't think he is going to take her, Emma, then you are living in a fantasy, because one day he will take that child.") and I had better not coming crying to her the next time it happens.

So much for maternal support. I had already apologized to her the day after the fight, for involving her but said that I was glad I had her to turn to. I didn't realize that she would only support me if I did exactly as she said. And that's the thing with my mother, she has to have things her way. I totally understand where she is coming from. I would not like my daughters to be in a relationship like mine can sometimes be, but I think my mum also has to look at the good...she knows William is a great dad to all 4 kids, she knows that generally he has made me very happy. She tends to forget that he has given her a hand quite a few times. This is my mother though. Bitter. I don't think she will ever forgive him, and I am not sure how long it will before she talks to me again. This is the same woman who informed me that if my father came to an event for my children she would not be there. Like I said, bitter. 13 years later and she still hates him.

So I've not talked to her since that day, except for when I answered the phone the next day and she said in her hoity toity but pissed off voice "Is Taylor there?" I was a bit shocked. I was all excited when I saw her number, as I was going to tell her I had just enrolled Saoirse in ballet. I never realized how I depended on talking to her every day. I have so much to tell her. Like the fact that Taylor got her period! Yes, people, my daughter is a woman now. I cried when I put the panties in the washing machine. Too much info? Sorry! But it was a big moment. And I really would have liked to have shared it with my mum.

And then there was Debbie

First I met Joy. Then I met Dawn. And now I have finally met Debbie!

Early in December, I was supposed to get together with Joy, Dawn and Debbie for coffee. Due to a lack of a babysitter I had to cancel. Let me tell you, I knew I was missing out! I was very envious reading their posts about meeting up. Arrangements were made to meet in January. Debbie emailed the other day and asked if we could all make it on Thursday. With kids home for the holidays I was game. We met at 9.30 at Second Cup and had a great time. I love Debbie even more in person than I do on her blog. I finished my green tea latte and on we talked. At 1pm we decided to go for lunch. So off to Red Robin we went. After I called Liam to see how it was going as he was babysitting on his own. He said it was going well and I very kindly asked his permission to stay out later. The promise of an additional $10 won him over.

I got home just before 3. It is amazing to think that I sat with 3 other women for 5 hours and did not once wish I was in a different place, When I told my friend about our meetingshe was amazed that we spent 5 hours together. It really was great. And you would have thought that in all that time I would have remembered to ask the question I had meant to ask Debbie. But there were just so many other things to talk about! Next time.

For surely there will be another time. Or two. Or three.

Resolutions

Every year I make the same New Years resolutions...lose weight (yeah, not so much), stop yelling at my kids (like last year by this time, already broken), become more organized (again, not so much), so on and so on.

I want all those same things this year, and I may actually work towards them. Today in the lose weight category I bought a yoga ball. God knows I watch enough TV and spend enough time on the computer just sitting on my ass. Now I will use the ball, which will not only aide in weight loss but will also be great for my back. Of course I have to find the pump to blow the ball up, so really it could be next January before it gets used.

One thing I meant to do last year was keep a list on my sidebar of all the books I had read in 2007. I didn't get around to doing it but plan on doing so this year. Any other readers interested in keeping track with me? I hope to read a book week for a total of 52. (Math skills and can read? I'm a keeper, I think.) I used to read 2-3 a week before I discovered blogging, so I'm thinking one is attainable. If there is interest in doing this I will keep a list of participants in the sidebar. I should look into a button maybe. Even if it's just me, myself and I doing this.

I also want to focus on being more positive. I tend to take note of what I don't have that other people do and I really must stop this. Focus on the positive, Emma. I may not have my dream home with a bedroom for each child, but I do have a nice 4 bedroom home and its smallness should make it easy to clean. Should. One day that will say "Its smallness makes it easy to keep clean." I may not have a lot of extra money, but I also have no debt and therefore have more available money than some of my friends who have double the income. My children may not wear $500 ski jackets (seriously, what the?) but they are fairly well dressed. Taylor does well in school (do not focus on the messy bedroom!), Liam is well liked, Saoirse is the sweetest, funniest 3 year old I know, at almost 17 months Sophie is talking in sentences (and has the temper of a tempermental 2 year old.) My kids are good. William and I are going to be going to counselling, we are going to work hard at our relatiosnhip. We are worth it. Our kids are worth it.

I'll let you know how it went on January 1, 2009.