Sophie sayings....

Just so I can remember how witty my 3 year old is....

Sophie asks me for a package of Dora fruit snacks and I give them to her. A few minutes later she comes up to me with another pack and asks me to open them. I start to, and then I say "Hey, you just had one of these!" She says "No, I didn't just have one Mummy. That is in your imagination." I let her have the fruit snacks.

You may have seen this one on facebook... Sophie has been driving me crazy and at one point I say "Sophie, I am at the end of my rope!" She looks me up and down and says "But you don't even have a rope." That totally made me laugh. You can not stay mad at that child.

Soccer started a few weeks ago. Her first game was a rain out and she stood outside saying "Please stop raining, please stop raining!" Her second game was the day of the May blizzard. The following week was very nice and I said "Well, it looks like you will be playing soccer tonight." Sophie says "Really? Oh, thank you, Mummy, thank you! I love you!" She then kissed me on the hand and gave me a hug.

Sophie is sitting (well, feet were on the floor, tummy was on the couch) playing the computer and Taylor leans over to see what she is doing. Sophie yells "Taylor! Move! You are in my light!"

It's the day of Sophie's playschool Spring Tea and she is sitting on the bathroom counter while I brush her hair. She is looking in the mirror and saying "I am so pretty. Pretty, pretty Sophie." I finish her hair and she says "Oh, Mummy, thank you...you have made me so beautiful!"

She's very fond of the thank you's, my Sophie is.

Sorry...

I realize I threw a whole lot of stuff out there on fb and on here and elsewhere and then left you hanging. I need to update what is going on and I just can't do it here. I know that if William came across this blog, which he hasn't read in forever and I assume he believes I no longer use it, he would be pretty upset with that last post. He has never been a fan of me putting our issues on display. So I do have a lot to say, and I find I am spending my days talking to out loud to myself trying to work my own issues out. Just to let you know quickly, we talked. And we talked. And we talked some more. Things right now are okay. When I am with him, things are good. When he is at work though... I wonder and I question and I am a little lost. I question what will happen. I am 95% sure nothing will happen when he is in Australia, but if you had asked me the day before I found out I would have said I was it wasn't even a question. I had complete and total faith in him. Not in her, never in her, but in him? Never, ever would it have entered my head that he would do anything. Now that I know that the thought was in his head I will wonder. Those 10 days that he is gone are going to be the worst 10 days of my life.

So...I'll send those of you who want to know a message through fb or email and let you know where the story is going to be.

Stupid, stupid me

When I read that second to last paragraph about William not telling his family he was coming to Australia I feel so fucking stupid. Of course he didn't tell them! He had no plans on seeing them...he was going to spend the whole time with HER. Oh fuck, I want to kill him. All the lies he has been telling me for months. I even sort of joked one night driving home from work about how I was worried about what would happen between them and he said "Oh, Emma, you don't need to worry about that." And I said I knew I didn't have to worry about him but I worried about her. I had such faith in him. No matter what we went through, I never, ever thought he would cheat on me. I sent her a message on facebook and I said that. I told her I loved him. I said he may leave me, but be sure he will never leave our girls for you. I can't believe the messages I read between the two of them. Talking about getting together a few times a year until the girls are old enough to make a decision about what they want. Fucking bastard. Fucking, fucking bastard. God, I hate him. And I love him, and I think that is even worse.

Back to Australia

Do you recall last January when I wrote about how William had found the daughter he had never met before on facebook? They've had a bit of a rocky relationship in the year they have known each other. She was, after the first few weeks, pretty bitter. He had a lot of blame thrown his way. Totally understandable but a part of me wanted to email her and say "Hey, you are 25 years old. Grow up. The fact that he never knew you was YOUR MOTHER'S choice. He was 17, a total mess and is now 43 and still a bit of a mess. He doesn't need you blaming him for a mistake that he has tried to rectify for years." But I didn't. After all, he's a grown man and can fight his own battles. They didn't talk for a quite a while and then the mother found him on facebook and they started talking. She talked to Michaela, and had her contact William again. So for the last few months they have been in regular contact. She told him she was getting married, and asked him to come to the wedding.

Well, it was a no go. He's at a new job, with not enough earned vacation days yet. We don't have the money for a flight to Australia. She was disappointed. He felt he was letting her down. We wondered if we could somehow swing it.

And somehow we did. On February 17th, William leaves for Melbourne. She is getting married on the 27th and he returns home the next day.

I am not entirely happy about this. A part of me thinks he is being set up for disappointment. What if she doesn't like him? What if her step father raises a fuss? Apparently neither he nor the 2 younger siblings are very happy about this. I asked him if it would not be better to go at a later time when she is not busy doing last minute wedding preperations but he says she wants him at the wedding. And so he will go. I hope it is worth it.

Now I am shopping for it. We are going to get an Irish wedding blessings plate and a Canadian Olympic sweater for her little boy. There are 16 nieces and nephews to buy a little something for. I have found some cute Canada shirts for 3 of the girls, and have some baby clothes for the newborn twins, but still have much more to get!

Oh, and get this...he's not telling his mum or sisters that he is coming! I made some comment on facebook about his trip to Australia and he got a wee bit annoyed with me. "I told you that, Emma, that I was going to surprise them. It was the very first thing I said!" Um, no actually, it wasn't. I would remember that because I would have said "What the feck are you thinking! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Honestly! Anyway, I am pretty sure his one sister saw it, or at the very least her son said something. She called here that very night and she never, every calls us. She didn't ask and he didn't volunteer it. He was talking to the nephew on facebook the other night and he did ask William if he was coming, to which he said yes, but it was meant to be a surprise. He says he didn't tell anyone, but we are pretty sure they know!

Anyway, he's looking forward to the trip and I am not looking forward to it. Bloody Teacher's Convention is 2 days the week he is gone, I'll be driven demented with no evening time Daddy on duty!