The things I go through for love

**Fair warning: This is a TMI post.**


Because there was no nookie (it's because of AFF that I am now using that word) in my house on Valentines Day it was said the big deed would happen on Friday.

Isn't it terrible when you no longer can just do it? It has to be planned out and scheduled with time limits and noise restrictions. Sex in a non family bed is much easier, let me tell you.

And of course, I do realize there are places other than the bed in which to do the deed. But I'm not 17 anymore, people. Hell, I'm not even 29 anymore. Sometimes I just want a nice comfy bed and a blanket to hide bits and pieces. Old before my time, I am.

So anyway...Friday. William takes Liam to a movie, and Saoirse falls asleep on her own by 9pm. In our bed, of course. William comes home, we watch a bit of TV, I say I am going to for a shower.

I figure I may as well as shave the old legs, since it has been a loooonnng time since a razor last touched them. Shall I tell you how long? December 8th. Yes, I have not shaved my legs in 2 months. I know. Gross. But in my own defence, it's pretty slow growing AND it's the dead of winter in a very cold place. Who sees it other than me and occasionally, William? No one that's who. Although I do have fears of ending up in the emergency room with unshaven legs AND wearing my period knickers on a period free day. That would be the absolute worst.

Back to the story. I'm shaving my legs for the first time in forever and I'm moving pretty fast. I think "If I'm not careful, I'm going to cut myself." And what should happen? Yes, I cut myself. How can one tiny cut hurt so freaking much? Oh, it was burning. I quickly finished (and later discovered I missed a few spots) and got out where I proceeded to bleed onto the floor. How can one tiny cut bleed so much?



A wash and a Dora bandaid made my booboo all better...


And after all that pain? We didn't even do it! Can you believe it? I went to bed, read for a bit and then fell asleep. He watched a film and when he came up he put Saoirse into her bed. I heard him come in, felt him cuddle up to me and thought "Oh, I'm so tired, give me 2 minutes!" The next thing I knew it was 8am and Saoirse was at the side of the bed. So no sex. None last night either. Sigh. I work tonight, tomorrow is the Family Day holiday so he doesn't have to get up early and it is happening tonight. Oh, it so is. Otherwise I am going to throw a sex deprived temper tantrum. And I'm assuming those are not pretty.

Valentines Shmalentines

So the big day of love was yesterday.

Pshhh, says I. When did I become the Valentine equivalant of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas?

I got a card from William that says the following: "So it's Valentine's Day. BIG DEAL. Who needs love? Who needs passion? Who needs raging uninhibited sex?"

Open it up and it says "Why do you keep raising your hand?"

And I had to laugh at this very unromantic card because it is oh-so-true. The roles are totally reversed in our house, and have been for the past year or so. It's weird.

And of course there was no Valentine's nookie in our house last night. William is in bed by 10, as he is up at 5 and I have to prioritize and last night? Survivor, Murdoch Mysteries (Yannick Bisson! my teenage heart is all aflutter) and the Lipstick Jungles were on.

I did offer some oral copulation in replace of my not giving the poor fella a card, but again timing and a daughter in the bed made it not happen.

This weekend maybe. I do have to do my work, and discover if he was the owner of the grey hair found on my jumper.

Who says romance is dead? He even kissed me 5 times before he went to bed. In a row.

I know. I almost died of shock too.