I'm glad this guy's not my husband

This comes from Bacon and Eh's and holy crap, did it make me laugh. In a frightened, thank-god-my-partner-is-sane sort of way.

This document was written up by a man and given to his wife. It is all his expectations of her, sexually mostly. The rules for shaving were amusing, the fact that she's not allowed to wear proper pajamas is concerning; after all they live in Iowa and that can't be all that warm in the winter. I've read On the Banks of Plum Creek, I know these things. She does get to buy herself a sex toy every year for his birthday gift, so at least she has some entertainment now that she has wised up and dumped him. Oh, and he was really, really nice and said that during fellatio she was allowed to bring him to orgasm. It was nice of him to think of her pleasure, don't ya think?

Anyway, take a few minutes and read it here.