Tired. So tired.

It has been a crazy week, and I haven't worked a single shift. I think I said in an earlier post that I was babysitting this week and it has been insane. I am definitely not dayhome material. I did it years ago, when Taylor and Liam were young, and no thanks to doing it again.

I cleaned my house while Sophie and Ben.nett were sleeping and within an hour the others had it a mess again. Taylor, Liam and Taylor's friend Ashley (my friend's oldest daughter) have early days on Thursday and so they were all home to torment help me out. And help they did. They took Saoirse and Kam.ren in to the yard and got them soaking wet and then brought them in covered in grass. Still, the girls had fun and I guess in the long run that's all that matters.

I think the hardest thing is that it is almost impossible to get out. Saoirse was sick all week, today was her first good day, so she wasn't up to walking anyway. A double stroller won't get three babies far. Tonight was my first time out that wasn't a meeting or a soccer game. I took my 3 girls over to the mall. I got Taylor three tank tops and a pair of board shorts for Liam at H&M. I really love that store, I didn't think i would like it because of the whole Madonna designing a line thing, but the kids clothes are adorable. I doubt I would fit into anything in the women's department. We then went to Old Navy and bought Saoirse two pairs of shorts, a sundress for Sophie and their Canada Day shirts.

I really must stop spending money. I need to make sure we've enough for our holiday. We are going to BC at the end of July, my brother lives in Nelson so we have rented a house there. We are going for a week and my mum is taking Taylor and Liam for two, along with my aunt and uncle who are coming from England. I didn't realize how close it is to the American border, I would like to try and get down to Washington for a day.

Anyway, I better go straighten up my basement...I've an electrician coming in to check my wiring. I only have one working outlet in my kitchen, which is none to pretty. My friend is coming over in the afternoon to make a box album for our boss who is moving on to bigger and better things so I hope that electrician is an in and out sort of fella.

Happy Days!!!

He can stay! Today we received three letters from the gov't and I thought we were screwed. Two were for William and one was for me. I opened mine first and what a shock when it said I met the requirements to sponsor him. Because really? My income was about $20,000 less than the required income. So for the next three years I have to provide him with a home (done), utilities (done), food, clothing, household supplies and personal requirements for day to day living (done, done, done and done), dental care, eye care and other health services not provided by public health care (well, he can pay that himself now that he's allowed to work) and financial assistance to ensure that he does not end up on welfare or anything (more like his being here will keep me from seeking government assistance.)

One of his two envelopes included a work permit, good until May 2008 and the other was a letter stating that he meets the requirements for permanent resident status but that a final decision will not be made until they have received a medical, security and background checks. Well, we sent the medical in prior to sending in the actual application on the advice of Immigration Canada and at the cost of 300 plus dollars I am not really eager to do that all over again. They are asking for a security check from Ireland and he has never actually lived in Ireland, but in Northern Ireland. Two entirely different places, unfortuantely, and in our original application form one was not required from either the North of Ireland or Scotland, both countries he has lived in the last ten years. All they wanted was Australia, which we had sent in with an application for an extended temporary visa that he was turned down for last year.

I will be calling them later today to find out about the Irish security check and just where is his medical. If I have to do that one again, I'll suck up the cost to have him here for good.

I can't wait until he gets home so I can tell him. I think this will really take a lot of stress off of him.

Busy busy busy

I honestly don't know how you moms who work out of the home full time do it. Please enlighten me. How do you manage work, kids, housework, volunteer activitis and sports? I know there are those of you who do it so tell me how you manage? Because franky, I am a mess and I have only worked 2 shifts!

We had a pretty good Saturday, Taylor (after a huge fight in which I called her a selfish bitch- god, I know it's awful, I hate myself for the things I find I'm saying to her) spent the afternoon with her dad (that's what the fight was about- she refuses to see him and, ffs, the man is dying. She's only got a few years to be with him.) and saw Pirates 3. Liam took a break from going, since he goes all the time when Taylor won't and decided to hang out with friends. William and I took the girls to the Valley Zoo. Saoirse had a great time, she was excited to see the tiger, the elephants, snakes, monkeys and the sea lions. She really wanted to see penguins, but I guess you have to do that at the mall. One walked right past us last week. I said to William that we should go down to Calgary one weekend, because really? The zoo there is about a thousand times better. I got some cute pictures and should I ever get around to downloading them I will actually post them. Along with the confirmation pics.

Saturday evening Saoirse came down with what appeared to be yet another bad cold. She was lethargic and wheezy. We gave her some ventilin and decided to see how the night went. She was pretty good Sunday, had a runny nose and eyes but was out and about with William all day until she crashed at about 4. And she slept. And slept. And slept some more. She coughed a lot through the night, woke up at about 7 this morning, came downstairs and fell right back asleep on the couch until gone 8. She woke up with her eyes all stuck shut, which she was none to pleased to have me remove. She didn't eat much today, just a spoonful of macaroni and cheese, some cheese and breadsticks and a few drinks. She played outside for a bit and then fell asleep at 3. Slept off and on until 8, was up for 2 hours and then went to bed. Sorry- I'm sure you don't care, but honestly this is the only place I will record this and I need to know should we go to the doctor.

Sunday was also supposed to be my cleaning day, but before I got a good start my friend Jen called and asked if I could take her son until her mum arrived to pick him up. Jen was cleaning her empty house, as she has just moved. So Bennett came over and I had an excuse to stop was unable to keep cleaning. An hour or so later Jen called and asked if I could keep him because her mum didn't want to take him because she wanted to plant her tomatoes! Jen said "I don't have a mum like you, Emma." And it's true, I am so lucky when it comes to my mum, who babysits whenever I need her. Plus, when I moved my mum cleaned my old house for me. In fact, she went over to Jen's that afternoon to give her a hand. Yes, she's a pretty good mother. Though she really pissed me off at Janine's mum's funeral on Friday, but that's a whole other story.

I have Bennett all week, and his sister in the afternoons, as their normal babysitter had gone off to Disneyland. Jen has asked me to babysit come September, but I don't think I could, as much as I would love to stay home I do realize that I need the money and working just 2 shifts is what I would get paid for a month of babysitting. So I may as well as work a couple of shifts a week and then have the rest of the time for just the girls and I. Plus, it's hard to clean up when you have 2 babies, a toddler and a troublemaking 6 year old to watch over!

Tonight I had my final school council meeting. It was sort of sad, knowing that I am going to be away from that school for at least another 2 years. Tomorrow and Wednesday Taylor has softball games right after school and both she and Liam have soccer in the evening. Tuesday and Thursday's are killing me right now, they both play at the same time, always at different fields and as William is Liam's coach he always goes to his game. Jen and I were trying to split soccer, as her oldest daughter plays on Taylor's team, but with me not a driver, it's been pretty unfair on her. On Sunday I just had William drop the girls off, which means they had no one watching to cheer them on. Tomorrow my mum's babysitting and they are playing a home game so I will just walk them over. I really need to get my license. Seriously. This is getting ridiculous. Did I ever tell you I failed 3 times? Yep. Three. I have a great big LOSER tattooed on my forehead. Granted, it was 15 years ago since the last attempt but I still think I would fail. I just get too nervous.

Anyway, I totally lost the point of this post which was supposed to be that I am overwhelmed with the crap going on and how the hell do you amazing moms do it? I really want to know.

Oh, and my washing machine broke down, almost started a fire and all the jeans sat in water for so long they have noticeably faded. It's a good thing my kids have so many clothes, they would be fine for a month I think, it's William and I that have the bare minimum. Yeah. It's going to be a crappy week.

Things I forgot and/or discovered about my job

1. I don't hate my job. I just don't like it very much.

2. Women are much more modest than men about hiding their bits and pieces. Men just let it all hang out. And believe me, a 90 year old penis is not so pretty. And the scrotum, yikers.

3. Some people work really hard. Others...not so much.

4. Some people missed me. Someone didn't remember who I was.

5. If you talk a lot about kids people will forget to charge you the $10 for a new ID card.

6. Without my ID I could not get into Emergency or MRI/CT.

7. I better not forget my ID like I always did before.

8. There's a lot of new people working in my department.

9. Canada is considering introducing 18 month maternity leave, and eventually 21/2 years. (I read that in a magazine during some slow time.)

10. If Canada does that in the near future, I might just find myself up the duff.

11. The best place to have children is France. (Still reading, there was a lot of down time in the late afternoon.)

12. Tomorrow I train in pharmacy with my favourite co-worker, who was off today. Looking forward to seeing her!

13. A woman's work day is never done. Though my lovely fella did make dinner.

With a little perserverance you can get things done

Do you know where that title comes from? Off the top of your head, not with a quick google search? There may be a prize involved for the first right answer. My guess at the readers who might know where it comes from and even the following lines? Catwoman and With Love, Fat Girl.

Don't ask me why it came into my head tonight, but it did.

Anyway, it's back to work tomorrow. I am feeling sorry for myself. We are not going to come out ahead with me working, though on paper it will look like it and that is all that matters I suppose. William has been fantastic and has said if I want to quit when he gets his residency then I can do so. The thing is, as much as I bitch I know I won't. I have decided to do the hospital unit clerk program, so as long as I keep my casual status, even if I work once every 6 months, then I still have some sort of seniority and once I finish the program I am almost guaranteed a job within the hospital network. And really, all I want is benefits. I could care less what my dollar earning is. It's not having benefits that kills you. So says the gal paying $7000 for her son's braces. 80% of which would have been covered had I had benefits. So you see it's all about the benefits. And paid sick days. And mental health days. Yeah. Benefits are good.

I was going to post pictures of Taylor's confirmation last night, but I left the camera in my cousin's truck. I went to pick it up today but then I left it in my mum's house. Cause I'm me, you know? My mum's bringing the camera to work (God, that word again!) tomorrow so hopefully I can do it in the evening. I had a bit of rant after they did group shots of each school with the Archbishop (and it was the one who did me. My confirmation that is. You people have such dirty minds.) and one of the mum's sent both her daughter should have been in the picture and an older daughter who should not have been in the picture. I was annoyed because it would have been nice to have a picture of just the Grade 6's. But whatever. I'm a petty, petty person.

Off to bed, since I work in 8 hours. Blah.

I love when the post arrives

Especially when it's post from Ireland. And especially when it's post that includes the goodies below. From Beccy today I received some flapjacks and a beautiful bracelet that she made. The pictures aren't the greatest, Sophie was screaming bloody murder and pulling herself up on my legs. But I had to get a picture right away before the flapjacks disappeared. Sophie was rather mad that she didn't get even a piece ofone, but they were just too chewy. And delicious. My were they good. Now I just have to keep myself away from the rest until the kids and William get home. Here's hoping they don't appreciate their scrumptious goodness.
And the bracelet...is that not beautiful? Taylor will be sure to ask to where it to her confirmation tonight and I may even be nice enough to say yes. Thanks Beccy, for making my Tuesday!



And just because I think they are the cutest pair of sisters in all of this city, here's Sophie and Saoirse at the park last week. William taught Saoirse all about rolling down hills the other week and now I am the proud laundress to numerous pairs of jeans with grass stained knees and bums.

Confirmations and a question *LINKS FIXED!

Tonight is Taylor's Confirmation. Tonight is also my monthly stamping club, where we are to decorate journals. Urgh. What is the Catholic heirarchy thinking, scheduling a confirmation on the night of my stamp club? Because yes, it is all about me, not the 40 or so children involved in tonight's proceedings. I am hoping to do a runner out of the church the moment it is over and make it to the last hour of stamp club. Even if I don't have time to make the journal, I can at least pick it up and place my order. Oh, my order! I have to fit in all the retired stamp sets I want in the next two months, today I am ordering Pretty Princess because I figure with two little girls there are bound to be plenty of girl birthday parties. Plus there are lots of bloggers with little girls to make cards for come my October get away. I am also ordering Pocket Fun, because it is one of my favourites and why I have never ordered it I just don't know. And then I have a bunch of other things to order, punches and paper and whatnot. My party is June and I hope people remember how well I ordered at their parties so that I do well in my hostess credits.

And on to the question. Do you have a favourite child? This is something I think a lot of parents deny, but I believe that most of us have some preference, even if we don't use the word favourite. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, because there is just something about Saoirse. While I love all my kids, that child just makes my day. Perhaps it is her age, at 2 1/2 she is just so amazed and thrilled with everything and she hasn't really done the terrible twos. She's bossy and precocious and makes me laugh so often. I could get more into this, since there was a time when I had just two children and could easily define my favourite, but I'll wait to see what you lot say.



Seriously, how could a person not love that devilish grin? And in the thumbnail pic I couldn't tell that her face was dirty. Oops. Nothing new there. William says it's the Australian in her, but I've never seen Sam's girls with dirty faces. I do blame him though, he who will put her to bed with a dirty face, or take her out in public. Honestly, men.

A mishmash of things

I am having some major blogging problems. I'd like to blame it on blogger, but it's my slow ass computer. Ah, income tax, where are you? When it arrives I hope to buy a new one, though William has informed me he thinks it is smarter to get new tires for the car and other assorted car realted things. And really? I'm fecking poor so it's one or the other.

So that's why I'm not commenting much in case you were wondering- Sure, I know you are all missing my witty and/or insightful comments, don't deny it- it takes ages for the comment section to load, even longer for my comments to go through and quite frankly I just don't have the patience. Fun Monday and cards posted on chrisb's blog -thanks Chris!- brought me a few new commenters and I can't even get on their sites. I don't think it's entirely my computer really, I do think blogger sorta sucks and last month I signed up to Wordpress, but it overwhelms me. I really don't like change. If I do get a new computer I will take the wordpress leap though.

I'm fine by the way, in regards to the lump. Just paranoid. And fat, as was so kindly pointed out to me. Duh. Like I didn't know. Like I haven't said that to my normal doctor a thousand times and every time he says cut out starches. I think it's more than a food issue, but seriously who am I to know what is up with my own body?

My friend Janine's mum died yesterday, 13 months after she was diagnosed with cancer. Janine's girls were 5 weeks yesterday, and still in the hospital. She had just arrived to feed them when her brother called to say she needed to go home to her mum and dad's. The funeral is this Friday evening and, oddly enough, the ICN had said that the girls would probably be released on Friday. This is quite possibly the worst time for them to be released, with everything going on, and I hear Janine has asked if they would allow the girls to stay if it is not busy until after the funeral. I really do think it is true that they arrived early for a reason, technically Janine wasn't even due until this Thursday and they would have been induced on the 15th, and by that time her mum was so sick she wouldn't have been able to be at the birth. Small blessings.

Today was the first unofficial day of summer. Victoria Day. When we Canadians show our loyalty to a long dead empire. I am totally not a monarchist, though I do like that Prince William supports my beloved Aston Villa (even as I question why) but I'll support any holiday that gives you a day off with pay. Not that I get paid unless I work it of course, being a crappy casual employee and all.

Speaking of work, I'd rather not. Work, that is. I'm back on Thursday and I am so down about it. It's blah. I don't want to leave my babies though William is totally excited about being home with them. I spent all day today cleaning, so that hopefully it will be in somewhat reasonable shape come Friday evening. Yesterday, I cleaned out my bedroom closet which still had unpacked boxes it it from when we moved last July. (I know! Atrocious!) I found all my 12X12 paper, which I was supposed to look for back in April when I went away. So now I have a crap ton of paper, because on Saturday I bought some from Michael's new line. It's perfect for all the box albums that I have signed myself up to make, as it solid on one side and patterned on the other. I have cut the paper for Alissa's two, Wendy's, Catwoman's and Ice Cream Mama's. Hopefully the rest will be done this weekend. If I'm not lying in bed, totally exhausted from my 2 days work. Yeah, I'm totally a lazy cow. Shutup.

And now that I have babbled enough I must go. I still have to vacuum my livingroom because I'm babysitting tomorrow and god knows what the poor kid would find in that carpet. Plus I've asked William to wake me up at 7.30. Uck. Much worse than the 10am I got up at this morning. And really I could have slept on, but I had to pee really badly. Damn my weak post baby bladder!

Two whys answered

Not that you asked but here is why you will very rarely see a picture of Liam...



...and here is why I'm slow as an ass getting anything craft related done.
This is what my craft desk normally looks like:


Even after I've cleaned it up, there's still not a lot of room so I usually go to the kitchen table.



This is my table this morning. I did some clipboards last night and finished them up today. It's a lucky thing Saoirse eats her breakfast at her little Dora tray, because it wasn't until lunch that I cleaned up. What I really need is a craft room, so I can just leave my stuff everywhere. My dad is talking about doing up my basement, maybe I'll brave the spiders and have him put a craft room down there.

Damn that Facebook

Tonight I received an email saying that someone had added me as a friend on Facebook. I signed up for Facebook some time ago and just did not see the thrill. I sort of forgot about it until tonight when the email arrived. This is not a person I am really friends with. Not at all actually. In fact, I thought she hated me. And probably does really. C'est la vie.

Anyway, I went on to Facebook and spent 3 hours on there. THREE FREAKING HOURS! I was working on some altered clipboards, which are almost done, but really should have been done tonight. Damn Facebook. Keeping me from my attempts at crafting. Which will be sent to That Chick on Friday so will be finished tomorrow, come hell or high water. Yeah, so much for my one a day!

So anyway tonight I searched high school people, I found my friend Lisa, who sometimes comments here, but who obviously didn't do a search to see if i was on Facebook. Tsk tsk. I left a couple of messages for some people I used to know once upon a time and I even harrassed Alissa.

So, people, if you're on facebook, do us a favour and add me would ya? So I look like I know people when people start looking up my high school class. Not that I joined that network, come to think of it. And if you don't know my last name by now you just aren't looking hard enough.


* Am going to the doctor Thursday afternoon, just in case you thought I was neglecting to tell you anything.

Off to the doctor

I think I felt a lump. Fuckity fuck de fuck.

Hopefully, it's just paranoia on my part.

Better safe than sorry.

My Hometown- Edmonton

Totally stole this off of Rachel.

Ah, Edmonton, home to a million people (if you count surrounding communities), Gateway to the North, City of Champions, 2007 Culture Capital of Canada, Festival City, blah, blah, blah.

I have lived here for: 30 years, since I was 3.
I live here because: I don't like change? Oh, and it's generally a great place to raise kids. And the school systems aren't bad for kids with learning disabilities.
My neighbourhood: Bel.me@d, just west of the mall.
My favourite restaurant: Moxies, cause I'm a cheapie. However, if my brother is paying then the Hardware Grill.
If you go be sure to order: at Moxies, the Kitsilano chicken sandwich. Grilled asparagus, yum! Hardware Grill, the smoked salmon.
My favourite museum: The Royal Alberta Museum and the Telus World of Science.
Favourite tourist destination: Whyte Avenue, home to the Orange Hall, plenty of cafes and some great independent shops. And every August, the Fringe.


Best insider spot: Not so sure it's an "insider" spot, but the legislative grounds have fountains and wading pools that are fantastic for kids on a hot summer day.


My favourite area: I love Fort Edmonton Park. It's not as exciting as when as I was a child, but I still think it's a fun day out.


Best place to go shopping: Why, West Edmonton Mall of course, formerly the largest mall in the world. I think there's a bigger one in Japan now. I have met American tourists who didn't actually leave the mall for an entire week. Like literally didn't even step outside. Granted, it was February and that is a generally a freezing cold month.




When you visit don't forget to pack: Your mosquito spray in the summer, toque and mitts in the winter.
The best way to get around: car. If you want to go anywhere. If you're just hanging at the mall then feet are perfect.
If I had to describe this city in one word it would be: uhm, cold? At least in the winter. Usually great in the summer though.
I tell my friends to stay at: my house. What sort of friend would I be if I didn't ask you to stay with me? You might be more comfortable in a hotel though. We're a bit crowded here, but always willing to throw the kids into the basement.
The one thing most outsiders don't know about this city is: it's the Murder Capital of Canada. I think there were 37 murders last year, mostly gang related. What? That doesn't make you want to visit?
They say "Virginia is for lovers." So fill in the blank: "Edmonton is for festival lovers." There's a festival most every week in the summer. Tis a good place in the summer, this Edmonton place.

Fun Monday- Coffee Mugs

This is my third try publishing this, I have lost it each time. Damn my crappy computer. I've jumped on the Fun Monday bandwagon. Willowtree is the host of this week's, you can get the full list of participants off of his blog.

The challenge this week was to show your favourite- not your best- coffee mug (that would be tea mug in our house, I don't even know how to make coffee), glasses for alcoholic and non-acoholic drinks and, if you choose, plate.


This is my favourite mug, I find it a bit small though so I don't use it that often. It says "You can never be too lucky or too Irish." I am neither lucky enough nor Irish enough I think.



These are the mugs William and I use the most often, I say they match our personalities. Him being grumpy and me being gloomy. Note they are both chipped, I drink from the other side though, so it doesn't bother me. I'll keep it until the tea starts pouring out the crack.


Had I been very smart I would have turned this photo around. Too lazy, and too many attempts at publishing have me not caring very much that it's not the right way up. I heart travel mugs. This is my newest, I got it from Tim Horton's for being a block captain in the city wide clean up. Along with $5 in gift certificates. Which won't buy a sandwich, but who am I to turn down any form of money?



I don't have a favourite plate, in my house plates and glasses break at alarming rates. Nor do I have a favourite glass, since 95% of the glasses are actually plastic. This is Saoirse's favourite plate, bowl and glass though. I don't know why I didn't include the Princess mug and fork and spoon.

Once upon a time when I was thirteen

Thirteen was not a bad year for me. It was the year I had my first French kiss, on a canal boat somewhere in England. It was the year of my first provided-by-someone else orgasm. It was the year I flew to England on my own. It was the year I realized I was a bit of a loner, because being with all those relatives for 7 weeks? As much as I loved them I longed for my alone time. (The kiss, by the way, was not with a relative. That's my Irish cousins that do that. My English side- pretty freaking normal.) It was the the year I wrote dozens of terrible short stories and sappy poems. It was a year in which I failed French, but excelled in Language Arts, sucked at Math and did great in Social Studies.

It was also the year of The List:

1. I will never, ever yell at my children.
2. I will always listen to my children.
3. I will ask my children what they think.
4. I will never smack my children.
5. I will let my children have sleepovers every weekend.
6. I will not get mad at my kids if their rooms are messy.
7. I will play with my children.
8. I will not wait until I am old before I have children. Note: my mother was 24 when I was born. 24! So not old!
9. I will buy my children really great clothes.
10. I will not fight with my husband in front of my children.
11. I will never favour one child over the other.
12. I will give my kids a really good allowance.
13. But I won't make them clean.

Ah. To be 13 again, and to believe that I would be the perfect mother. Looking back, I know my mother was not just a good mother, she was a great mum. She struggled. She made mistakes. She yelled a lot (which is totally where I get it from, which she doesn't believe) but most of her yelling was actually at my dad, not at us. But because she was the yeller, and he was so quiet, I always took his side. I didn't realize he was so quiet because he was falling over drunk. My mother never let my brother and I know when it was financially difficult. I didn't have all the brand name clothes, but I wasn't among the worst dressed kids in the school.

I look back now and I wonder how she did it. How did she work full time and keep a clean house when I am at home and can barely manage to do the basics every day? How is it that there was always money for movies and field trips and take out every Friday when my father constantly quit jobs and would empty her chequing account buying drinks for him and his friends at the club? I never had any idea until I was an adult how much she put up with.

I didn't know until I was an adult that every time we went to England on holiday, she planned on not going back to Canada, but that my brother and I would start talking about missing our dad so we always came back. That, I think, was her biggest mistake, but I can totally see why she did it.

I have broken most every rule on this list that I made. I have smacked Taylor and Liam, I have yelled. God, have I yelled. I really need to work on that one, because Taylor is very snappy with Liam and Saoirse, and I can see her as a mother like myself one day. I get mad at her for yelling, but would she know better when it probably seems like that is all she hears? Of course not.

Some of these things are down right unreasonable. Sleepovers every weekend? I'd die. I don't even know why I had that on there, it seems to me a friend or my cousin were always over. I do recall asking her if a friend could sleep over and her saying no, because she didn't know what my dad would be like when he got home. Of course, I would have blamed her, not him. Really great clothes? Well, I know for a fact my kids have way more clothes than I did as a kid, because Taylor's closet is almost 3 times the size what mine was and it is jam packed. Are they are all really great clothes? Probably not, there's mostly Old Navy, some brand name clearance, but I'm not one to buy clothes from Zellers or Wal-Mart (okay I do like George, but mostly for the little ones.) Come to think of it, my mother wouldn't buy clothes from Zellers either and there was no Wal-Mart then, but even today she wouldn't go there. I so get my blue collar snobbiness from her. What I have discovered about kids and clothes is that you can buy them the nicest things and it's all up to them how they put it together. Once they pass a certain age you can't choose what they will wear to school. Case in point: Taylor, today. Brown t-shirt, with Old Navy on front in pink. Different shade of brown capris, Old Navy. White sweat socks, ankle length. Black slip on Esprit shoes. Yeah. So not pretty.

Crap this is long. I should have just written that I am going to look at the reasonable things on this list and re-evaluate how I treat my children. Because do I really want Taylor to one day blog (or whatever it is they'll be doing in the future) about what a terrible mother I was? Absolutely not.

7 Random Things...a TMI post *EDITED to actually reach 7

I like to warn people before I post topics that may not please all readers so consider this fair warning.

I was tagged by the lovely (and Canadian) Catwoman to do this meme. I left her a comment saying that I don't think there's 7 things I haven't told you people, except for things about sex. And even that you guys know more than some of my friends. As per the whole spit or swallow conversation. (Swallow in case you forgot. And you?)

1. The first time I ever had sex it took 3 tries. Over 2 different occassions. The very first attempt was in a room full of people, though we were away from everyone. But seriously, as if they didn't know what was going on. Duh.

2. The first time I ever got very drunk (blacked out like) I was 17. I got kicked out a bar for causing a commotion. I went to the bathroom and couldn't do up my buttonfly jeans and came out of the toilet freaking out. That's not why why I got kicked out, I can't remember why I got kicked out. Cause the last thing I remember is slamming open that bathroom door. This is also the time I offered the limo driver a blow job. I think I posted about that story once.

3. I never had acne as a teenager. I had the odd pimple, but that was it. Acne freaks me out. And I can tell that Taylor is going to have it and in my annoying mother way I keep harping on it and she just does. not. care. At all.

4. I used to hate the 69 position. With a passion. Because I'm selfish. And I can't concentrate on my own pleasure if I'm concentrating on someone else's.

*Clarification: I don't now love this position, but I no longer hate it. Perhaps it is because of my partner, who is quite understanding of the fact that it is all about me and doesn't complain when I forget about the importance of him in the act. Perhaps its the position we use. I don't know.

5. I have a thing for ear wax. I hate it in ears, and I have to get it out of the ears I see. I use a grip (aka a bobby pin) which I know is a huge no no. But none of my kids are deaf yet and none have had any ear problems due to my over excessive use of things smaller than my elbow.

6. I'm like a man when it comes to sex. When I'm done, I AM DONE and I just want to roll over and go to sleep. I am not a cuddler.

7. I can orgasm without touching myself. I've mentioned this before but thought it was worth mentioning again, since I think there are only like 2 people who read me back then. I have few talents and that's a big one in my books. God, that's sad.