Some sad news

Today I had a phone call from my mother to say she had some bad news. For a second I thought she was going to tell me my grandad had died as this was around the time the family in England normally gives her a ring. No, it wasn't that though.

"I just had a call from Mr. T.M.... Mrs. T.M. has been given 3-6 months."

A month or so ago, my mum had a call from Mrs. T.M. (the mother of my friend Janine who has been written about a time or two in this blog, also Taylor's godmother.) She asked my mum to go for a walk and then told her that she had just been diagnosed with stomach cancer. They would consider operating, but if they were unable to do so, they would give her about 18 months.

Now, my only experience with stomach cancer was back when Taylor was in 4 year old playschool, back in 2000. Her favourite friend was a little boy called Sam. Sam had an older sister and a baby sister, born the prior November. He had a lovely mother and a very nice father, who taught high school. Sam's father was diagnosed with stomach cancer at the end of February, was operated on on March 10 (I will always remember that date because Sam was at our house for Taylor's fifth birthday party) and died on April 26. So fast, and he was only 36. I think about that family often. Sam went to kindergarten and Grade 1 with Taylor and then over the summer they moved away. Sam had a lot of difficulty in school after his dad died, and I hear he is now in a program for troubled kids. His mother, always somewhat fragile, spent time in a psychriatric hospital. That's all sort of moot, the purpose of this paragraph was that he passed away after only two months.

Anyway, back to Mrs. T.M.... my mum was told today that they opened her up and closed her right back up again. She was asked to go visit her on Tuesday when she comes home from the hospital. All three of her children were with her today. Janine is apparently devastated. Am I not a terrible friend? I had not called her at all, until today when I left a message. I just don't know what to say. At one point in the phone conversation Mr. T.M. said "We hope to spend another Christmas with you." My mum cried when she told me this. Since we were teenagers, Janine has spent almost every Christmas with us, as her family celebrated on Christmas Eve. In the last 5 or 6, her parents have joined us and for the last two, we have had both her sister, who lives in B.C., and her brother come as well. I said I hoped that they were all there, even though it would be a very sad day. I can no longer imagine Christmas Day without them.

It's all very sad, and I feel terrible for the entire family. What do you say to someone who knows her mother is going to die?