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So the test was negative.
I'm sort of sad. No, I'm really sad. Crazy? More than likely. Not too long ago I said in this blog that I was never having another child. I think I actually said NEVER.
There is no sense of relief at all. It's funny how quickly you come to accept the idea of a baby and start making plans.
We'll finish the basement and put Liam down there. If the baby's a boy it will have Liam's shoebox bedroom for sure. If it's a girl, we could possibly put Saoirse in the small room. We will really need to replace the carpet in the livingroom. Forget about getting a kitchen table for 6, we need more seats. We'll really need a minivan now. I had better start scrapbooking for Sophie so I am not 2 kids behind. And on and on the thoughts go.
I guess this made me realize that I am not ready to say my family is complete. If it still hasn't shown up by Sunday I will retest and I'll see where we go from there. I have no intentions of actively trying at the moment. I want William to be legally here and working, I want to upgrade my high school marks so I can eventually go back to school. A year maybe.
You know, if my mother doesn't kill me first.
And can I just say to those of you go through this every month...my heart breaks for you. If I was crying over a baby I didn't even know I wanted, what must those of you who do this every single month feel? I don't know how anyone would survive month after month with their sanity intact.
06 March, 2007
A false alarm?
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19 comments:
Oh Emma, poor you ((((hugs)))). Sometimes these sort of things happen in our lives to show us what we really want.
oh, honey... I am all choked up. I can't believe I am crying. I am so sad for you. Maybe it's just too early for a test.
So sorry. I know exactly how you feel though, saying you don't want one (yet) but you're late and get excited...
Maybe it's good though, it's letting you know that you want that "Aisling" after all?
Sorry Emma....
I understand what you mean though. I have had a couple times it was late and got all excited that I might have another. People think I'm crazy. I had my tubes tied after Maddie but a lot of times I feel like we are missing someone. Does that sound strange?
Can't say I know what you're going through, but good luck to you and I hope everything that happens is for the best.
Is that cheesy?!
Sorry you're sad, I guess it has helped you realise the path you want to follow.
Sending you hugs and happy thoughts.
Emma,
I'm sorry. I'm sure it doesn't help that you had to go through a whole range of emotions, too.
Not to be too out there, but what will be will be.
If you feel like there is another child in your future, I'm sure there will be.
Ach darlin' sorry.
Keep the goalie benched and you never know what might happen!
Hugs to you today.
Boliath
so sorry dear. Heartbreaks every month are hard, but it is worth it when you see the positive test. Really thinking of you today dear.
emma I'm sorry you didn't get the result you now realise you wanted take care and warm wishes
i know sooo how you feel! (((hugs))) i sit here right now wondering if I am... i hope every month...even after 6 kids! IS THAT NOT CRAZY!!!
I'm sorry you are sad. I'm sorry you cried. I'm happy you may have realized you want another though.
And who said wading through negative tests all the time leaves you sane? We all see what state I am in post Liam and I didn't even wade through NEAR as many negatives as many. ;)
Here's to seeing what Sunday says, and making future plans. *hugs*
Oh Emma. Sweetie.
How sweet of you to throw thoughts about anyone that is trying when clearly you're sad.
We don't have the money for 4 let alone 6....but I've been watching Casey run around and I think..."Too bad I nearly died cuz I'd like one more" but it's not meant to be.
Whatever happens between now and Sunday is meant to be. If it comes by Sunday, then follow your plan and get things in order and then TRY again.
(((hugs)))
We never know the things we want until something like this happens, don't we?
I'm thinking of you!
i'm just blogging thru but have to say i am sorry for your disappointment. have been there myself, it's how 3 became 4 became 5.
never crazy tho...
I just started reading your blog, sorry to hear the news. It could be too early to really know though.
Geez, I'm so sorry. :( I know how you feel right now.
I'm sorry... but the good news is that now you know your family may not be complete after all...
On another note - why do you have to upgrade high school marks? Can't you return to univ/college as a mature student?
So sorry you had such a dissapointment. I felt your sadness through what you wrote.
Going back to school is a great idea. I want to one day as well.
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