Apparently I will never leave Canada

I have a slightly small problem. I have to renew my passport, as it well past expired but I cannot find my birth certificate. I am pretty sure it is somewhere in my garage, but finding it could take years as my garage is a catch all place for every piece of junk (and probably a few important documents) I own. I suppose I should just phone and order a new one, but you know what will happen then don't you? The moment that $22 or so is put on to the Visa, I will find the original.

Because I carry a British passport I also need to order a new Canadian citizenship card, which is highway robbery at $75. $75 for a piece of laminated paper. Insane. If I do not have this card, it is entirely possible that Immigration Canada may not let me back into the country. Which I said is fine with me, as long as they pay for my flight back to where ever I came from.

I had thought that maybe I would just order a Canadian passport instead, as it is slightly cheaper than ordering a British one, but it turns out that I still need that fecking card to prove I am actually a citizen.

So it looks like I will be staying put as actually doing anything to get a passport requires effort on my part. Here's hoping William and I don't have to move because I would really have to get my shit together.