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Yesterday I had a phone call from Taylor's girl guide leader telling me that their chocolate making activity scheduled for Wednesday night was cancelled. Why?, I ask, since I'm nosy like that. "You know Kim?" Yes, of course, who doesn't? Kim is the office manager of my community league, she runs the playgroup I never attend and hosts scrapbooking events at the hall. "Kim lost her baby."
Oh.
I am friendly with Kim, she is a great girl but I don't really know her very well. We don't do lunch or anything. But we certainly stop and chat if we see each other on the street and at community functions. I called the office the other week about a scrapbooking thing going on and we probably ended up talking for half an hour or so. Just about stuff in general and the baby of course. Everything was going great.
I called my mum last night after I heard and asked if she had heard of any stillborns at the hospital. There was one today she says and three scheduled for tomorrow.
Yes I said three. Can you believe that? I was floored by that. When I was talking to Shelley, who works in the NICU, she said no, my mother was wrong, there are never three at one time. Today she called me and said your mum was right there were three today, plus the one yesterday, plus there was one last week. There is only one bereavement room in labour and delivery so what do they do with the other two mothers? Shelley doesn't know, it's not something that ever happens.
Anyway, Kim had gone in for her scheduled visit and the doctor didn't hear a heartbeat. An ultrasound was done and there was no movement. I can not imagine what this past weekend was like for her and her husband and their two children. How incredibly devastating it must have been.
I am so sad for not only her, but these four other women and their families. Today I hugged my children for a little longer than normal, grateful that they are here.
06 February, 2007
Loss
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13 comments:
Oh Emma, how awful.
I can't even imagine what a stillborn would be like. Having my Casey fighting for her life was enough of an "experience" for MY lifetime, my children's and my grandchildren's as far as I'm concerned.
My heart just breaks.
I can't even imagine... that just made me lose my breath.
Oh, I hate hearing stories like this.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I had a very close friend who was pregnant with her first child as well. The day I gave birth to a healthy 10 and a half pound baby boy, she found out (at 24 weeks gestation) that her child had died.
I felt such a strange mix of overwhelming joy for myself, and heart-wrenching sadness for my friend. It was a bittersweet day.
She gave birth to triplets five years later. I hope that Kim's sorrow will be overshadowed by great joy in the years to come.
How heartbreaking. I can't even begin to imagine what she must be feeling. And you're right Emma. Three in a day? That seems like too way too many doesn't it?
Oh I feel like throwing up. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of grief. I am thinking of your friend.
Horrible, just horrible.
There aren't even words. I'm sending prayers for each of those families. And hoping April hurries up already for me. Not that a successful birth guarantees no harm and horror later but the idea of a stillborn child just shatters my heart.
That is so sad Emma, it cetainly makes me appreciate my family.
How devestating for your friend and her family. This must be the worst experience for any woman to go through. I remember nursing women who had lost babies late in pregnacy but it was only after having my own children did I really begin to have some realisation of what they must have gone through.
That is horrible.. I cannot imagine what they must be going through :(
One of my friends finally got pregnant after years of trying, and her baby daughter suffered brain damage in the birth canal during delivery. She only lived three weeks.
No children to hug extra longer, but I had quite the tearful session while squeezing my dog. Things like this make you realize how lucky you are.
That is terrible! It makes you wonder why it can't just happen at the beginning. When I had my miscarriage, it was at the beginning of my pregnancy, and though it was hard, I still think it was about a thousand time easier than it would have been if I'd gone almost full term like your friend. I've been hearing of a lot of still births lately....kind of strange.
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