Five Things

Isaw this on both emmakirst and Hoping's blogs and thought I would do it as well. I do actually have a couple of things to post about, but it requires downloading photos and I am a lazy arse, as we all know very well by now. Later maybe.

Anyhoo...

Five items in my fridge.
1. Coke. William's. I'd say he's slightly addicted.
2. Milk. It would be very wrong not to have milk in your fridge when you have kids and drink a ton of tea. Me, not the kids. Though they all do drink it, even the baby.
3. Apple juice. For Saoirse.
4. Sour cream. Because I keep meaning to make enchiladas.
5. Lunch meat. Only 2 more lunches to make for Taylor and 3 for Liam. Yea!

Five items in my closet.
...Which closet? The living room closet? (Odd, I know, but I do have one) The bedroom closet? The hallway closet? Linen closet? I'll list a few from each.
1.Livingroom...all my scrapbooking stuff (well, most of it, there's a lot in the kitchen too...thank god I'm going to have a scrapbooking room when we move...and photo albums. Wrapping paper and gift bags too.
2. Bedroom...what clothes of William's and mine that I have not packed away, sex toys, a changing table, scrapbooking stuff.
3. Linen closet...towels, sheets, packed up baby clothes, scrapbooking stuff (yeah, it's everywhere.)
4. Hallway closet...shoes, coats and the odds and ends of winter stuff I keep finding.

Five items in my car.
What car, she cries? No license if you recall, but with William hopefully here for good it is high on our list of priorities. I may even go out and get a license, the last one expired in 2002, but I hear that if you refuse to tell your weight they will refuse you. I'm just going to tell them to put down what the last one says, even if it is now a blatant lie.
Here's what's in my garage, where a car would go when one is bought
1. My supersize freezer, currently full of Costco bulk size goodies.
2. New furniture for the new house, just a dresser and a bookcase so far.
3. All the kids outdoor toys, bikes and hockey equipment and whatnot.
4. 4 strollers. With a new one to be added tomorrow. I bought my double stroller today. It's a lovely Eddie Bauer one. I love it.
5. Junk. Tons of boxes that needed to be gone through.

Five items in my purse.
1. My cell phone. Which I have forgotten the access code for so am currently unable to use.
2. Money. I actually have some.
3. My purse. Full of loonies, toonies and pennies. You would think you were broke until you opened up the change part to see $20 worth of toonies and another $12 in loonies.
4. A diaper. Just in case.
5. My day planner. Cause I'm so freaking busy, haha.

From the broken heartland of hockey

Yep, it happened. The Oilers lost. There were tears and cheering in my house. Tears from Taylor and cheers from Liam, the lone Hurricanes fan. I don't think Taylor was so much crying because the Oilers had lost, but because it meant she couldn't go driving down Jasper Ave with her friend Ashley and Ashley's stepdad.

This is partly my fault, because when I said to her that she could go I also foolishly said it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. So of course, she was all "but it's a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Yes, says her very unsympathetic mother, but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I experienced 5 times. So chances are the Oilers of tomorrow will manage to win a Stanley Cup. Maybe.

I did go driving down Jasper Ave as a kid, with Janine and her dad. I will never forget being in Grade 5 (just like Taylor) and sitting in the back of the station wagon and some prostitute saying "Hey would you like a blowjob?" We were 10, we had no idea what blowjobs were, never mind the fact that we were girls so the whole question was moot. I can't remember if we asked Janine's dad or if I waited until I got home to find out what one was.

Perhaps that is not the once in a lifetime experience Taylor needs.

So as I said they lost. I don't know why. They certainly didn't play with the enthusiasm and desire they showed on Saturday night. Still it was a great playoff run, bless there millions of dollars per year hearts.

*The above picture is of Carolina's Ray Whitney, a former Edmonton area boy, hugging Ryan Smyth, an Edmonton player. I am quite sure I have a story about Ray Whitney and blowjobs, along with some bathroom puking. But I shan't say anything until I confirm I'm thinking of the right player.

The dog bites

Finally, I have managed to download pictures of the dog bites. You may look at that and say that is nothing, and really it is nothing compared to what a pitbull would do to someone's face. Still, Animal Control considered it a major bite not a minor and today I found out from my friend that although the house where the dog lives has not had an animal complaint there have been other calls to bylaw for different matters. They will be fined at least $600 and the dog will have to be muzzled. They may chose to fight this, so there is a chance both Liam and Melony will have to go to court.

The story of my crazy neighbour

Yesterday a constable from Animal Bylaw came to my house to take some pictures of Liam's legs. She spent a few minutes chatting, asking Liam about what happened with the dog and all. She then went out to her truck to get some statement forms so Liam could dictate his statement to me. She was gone awhile, and then I could hear my neighbour yelling. Turns out that his dog was running around outdoors without a leash. In Edmonton a dog has to be on a leash unless it is in a backyard or an off leash area, in our community's own bylaws a dog must be on a leash unless its in the yard. So this woman says "Your dog needs to be on a leash." and he freaks out, apparently saying that he is our bylaw officer and that our rules supercede the city's. Um, yeah, whatever. He was going on and on at her as she walked up my path.

Him: Move your vehicle. (She happened to be parked in an unmarked no parking spot.)
Her: I will when I am done.
Him: MOVE YOUR VEHICLE.
Her: Sir, do not yell at me.
Me: Oh, come on, Jason, like your guests don't ever park there.
Him: You have no idea what's going on! She started with me! (What is he? 7?)
Me: I assume it has something to do with your dog, but she is hear because Liam was bit by a dog.
Her: Your dog was unleashed, I asked you to take it inside.
Him: To me- Good for him. To her- MOVE YOUR VEHICLE NOW!!!!!!!!!! I'll call bylaw myself.
Her: Go right ahead.
Me: That's fine, Jason, and then next time you have vehicles parked one, two, three, four along I'll be calling bylaw as well.
Him: I'm going to go write you up a fine right now. (Starts to walk away)
Her (laughing): Go ahead.
Me (laughing as well): I am so sorry about him, he's an eejit.
Her: I guess I'll be looking to see if that dog has a license.
Me: I can almost guarantee you it doesn't.

She went back to her truck and was in there ages. I didn't see Jason come out with the "fine" but I did eventually see the police arrive, as well as another animal control officer. The police talked to Jason and his wife, and she was checking up on our neighbourhood. Turns out no one on my side has a license for their pet. She's not looking to go after all my neighbours, just him. And he so deserves it. If she had been a male officer, he would have said "Oh, sure, sorry, I'll take him in now." and that would have been the end of it. The reality is he's a sexist pig and deserves to have the stack of fines that are now coming his way. I hear at least $500 and hopefully there will be something for verbally harrassing her.

Honestly, though, it made my day to see him brought down like that. I have never minded him, although there are people here who absolutely hate him, thinking he's a sexist and that he spends too much time with the teenage girls in the neighbourhood. Which he does, by far. He totally takes advantage of his position as bylaw officer, letting his house get away with all sorts of shit, and only going after infractions by people he does not like.

I laugh just thinking about it.

Things that piss me off

1. My computer. Yesterday I wrote a book like post and when I was almost done the fecking computer froze. I could have cried. It was a rather good post if I do say so myself...all about Liam's encounter with a rather vicious Jack Russell, and the ensuing 6 stitches received. I couldn't be arsed to write it again, even though Liam was hilariously funny at the doctor's office. This morning I tried to download the pics of the 2 bites and couldn't even manage that. Aaarggghhh.

2. Owen Hargreaves playing for England. What the fuck? That boy is Canadian. As Canadian as ummm...I don't know...igloos or something. I don't care that his father was born in England, I really don't. He is Canadian and should be playing for Canada. Yes, I do realize that this means he wouldn't actually be playing in the World Cup since the chances of Canada making it are slim to none. But still. Loyalties to the home country and all. If I were some fantastic footballer (which I'm soooo not) I would still play for Canada, even though I was actually born in England and could play for England. In fact I could play for another two countries as well. But would I? No, I'd play for the country where I learned to play the fucking game. This is an issue that pisses me off to no end, and if you've been reading me since the start you might recall I've ranted about this before.

*Note that I have absolutely no issues with a player from a country such as England playing for a team such as Trinidad and Tobago, like that one fella whose name I can't recall. England has a ton of players to choose from so of course some are going to get left out, why shouldn't someone who doesn't make the grade with a well established team go elsewhere. But Hargreaves...he isn't even as good as most English players. Plus he definitely would have made the Canadian team. Wee bastard. Almost as big a wee bastard as Wayne Rooney. But not quite.

3. The fact that I have to attend a meeting on the night of game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. And we are not even going to reach quorum because every other fucker will be watching the game. And it's bloody elections. So why am I going when I could stay home and watch the bloody game? Because I have priorities people. And as much as I love the Oilers, this meeting is important to the next two years of this neighbourhood.

Rant over. I feel so much better.

A Prayer for the Oilers

I received this in an email and found it rather amusing. Youse mightn't as not a single person that reads this is from Edmonton but I'm posting it anyway.

Our Father, who art in Rexall,
Hockey be thy name.
Thy will be done, the cup will be won
On ice, as well as in the stands.

Give us this day our hockey sticks,
And forgive us our penalties,
As we forgive those
Who cross-check against us.

Lead us not into elimination
But deliver us to victory.
In the name of the fans, Lord Stanley,
and the Holy Oilers.
Amen

A bit of blasphemy, isn't it?

Updates, because I truly believe you are dying to know. Nosy wee buggers!

I think for the first time I have posted more on the pregnancy blog than I have on here in the last few days. Not because there's not anything going on with life in general but because the baby is almost here. Oh, I know it's ages away yet, but look at that little ticker at the top, it says 53 days I think and it seems like only a few days ago that it said 100 and I was bemoaning the fact that this child would never arrive. But she will. Sooner or later.

I do have a post in the works about the night of the stripper but I am waiting for the pictures to go with it. There are very few of me, but apparently some very raunchy ones of Candy and the stripper.

Here's what else is going on:

-packing. And not at a rate that pleases William. Taylor shocked me yesterday by doing 4 boxes, 3 of books and one of Spongebob stuff. Shocking really. Taylor is not well known for her enthusiam for anything household related. I've done a few boxes of books, packed away most of my clothes, and many dishes. Tomorrow I am throwing and/or giving away most of the old toys in the basement.

-speaking. That would be Saoirse, who says at least a couple of new words a day. Today was baby, until now she had been saying 'ba', but at the doctor's office, while looking at birth pictures, she said baby. She has also recently started saying cookie, and I am now mommy, not mama or mum-mum-mum. Funny that she doesn't say mummy like the other two. She also asks where things are...'where ball?' or 'where ta?' Ta is Taylor, which is good, because she used to be called tee, which also meant tea, see, and t-shirt. She will not go to bed without giving Taylor a goodnight kiss, which makes Taylor's day, but she just laughs at Liam who hides his face everytime she goes to give him one.

-soccer #1. I think Liam's team is going to make the playoffs. This is great for their team, but makes me glad soccer is only 2 months, not 9 like hockey. Their games are Mondays and Wednesdays, and so for the last 2 weeks we have been competing with the Stanley Cup finals. Some kids just don't show up, some parents send the kids on their own. Crazy. I'd always pick my son over hockey, but sometimes the idea of staying home to watch the game is appealing. They have won all their games this round, with only one more to go. The top 2 teams move on, so I assume they will be one of them. The soccer tournament that was cancelled due to rain last weekend is on for this weekend, but guess what? They're calling for rain Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

-soccer #2. We are watching the World Cup every morning. That's all. Nothing exciting as there is no Ireland. But William was very happy about Australia winning.

-hockey. The Oilers won tonight, disappointing the Carolina fans (and Liam) who were hoping to get the Stanley Cup tonight. I felt bad laughing at all the sad fans, especially the wee boy who looked like he was ready to cry. Until I realized he was probably a player's son and then I didn't feel so bad because really, his dad is a millionaire and my dad is most definitely not. Petty? Maybe. So game six is Saturday at home, a must win for the Oilers and hopefully there will be a game 7 in Raleigh and the Oilers might actually win the cup for the first time in 16 years. Very exciting times in the City of Champions. Seriously. That's what we're called.

-school. Taylor is done in 13 days and Liam in 14. Thank freaking God is all I can say. Next year we are going to become amazingly organized.

Sometimes wishes do come true

Liam's tournament was cancelled on Friday night as the grounds were soaked after Thursady and Friday's nonstop rain. He wasn't to bothered and both Taylor and Liam ended up spending last night at their dad's, which was good as Taylor hasn't seen him in about 3 weeks. William and Saoirse had the house to themselves yesterday evening as I was at a stagette (post to follow eventually!) I am sure he found it very peaceful as our house is rarely quiet. It rained again last night and a quick poordown just finished. I am so tired of rain. It's supposed to be nice for the next 3 days though. William's about to make dinner, leaving Saoirse very unhappy, so I am off to see if I can cheer her up!

The World Cup and soccer tounaments

We are somewhat excited in my house because the World Cup starts today. Due to the fact that Ireland did not make it, I am cheering for England. I am disappointed to see Wayne Rooney will be playing though, as I absolutely can not stand the wee bugger. I'd like to slap the cocky right off his face. It almost makes me wish they would lose, just so everyone would realize that it is not that one player that makes the team.

William is going for Australia since there is no Northern Ireland (has there ever been?) for him too cheer for.

In other soccer news, Liam has a tournament this weekend. First game at the ungodly hour of 8.30 am. I can always hope for rain. Even better, maybe the fields will be too wet from two days of solid rain and the whole kit and caboodle will be cancelled.
I know, I know, I'm a terrible mother for not wanting to go to my son's games. It's so hard with Saoirse though, who wants to run on to the field to kick the ball. And to be quite honest, she kicks better than some 10 year old boys.

What a shitey,crappy day

It rained alllllll day today, from before we woke up until just a bit ago, so about 10 pm. I don't mind rain, not at all, I come from a rainy country after all, so spent every second or third summer getting wet. I love thuderstorms, which Edmonton is a great city for. But today...uck...it just drizzled all day. I hate drizzle. Honestly, just have a good storm and get it over with, don't provide me with 16 hours of rain.

Because it rained it meant William was home all day, which was a good thing. We have been so off with each other lately, it was nice just to go out with him and Saoirse, and not be in a bad mood. We went over to the mall, I was down to the last 3 nappies for Saoirse so had to buy a case. We looked for a Carolina Hurricanes t-shirt for Liam, no luck of course, the only thing I saw was a team hockey puck, which I am going to pick up for his stocking come Christmas. I am going to have to order a jersey off their website, also for Christmas. Bloody $150 for a hockey jersey, I tell ya, that kid's lucky I love him.

We got home just before noon, then Taylor came in and then Liam. Early day. Hate it. William asked Taylor to go into the garage and take out the recycling. She did some whinging "But I just got home!" but was made to do it anyway. Well, holy Jesus, you'd think you'd asked her to move the Taj Mahal all by herself as there was one dresser drawer in the way. I've said before that my garage is a disgrace, and it truly is right now, with us getting ready for the move. "It's too heavy!" she said. William said she had carried it before, she could do it again. When he went back into the garage about 5 minutes later, she was just leaning against the freezer. He was not pleased at all and sent her upstairs. So that was bad moment of the day #1.

Bad moment #2 came after my nap. Oh, naps, how I love them. That was a great thing about having William home, I could nap. The problem is that I would love to sleep 3 or 4 hours, I am not one of those people who can take a 20 minute nap and feel great. This one was just over an hour and I was still so tired when I got up. Anyway, I was going to take the kids over to Old Navy to pick up some summer clothes. Liam and Taylor had had a fight and he wouldn't go if she went. God, they drive me crazy. I don't even know what the fight was over, but I was on the phone, and she went stomping over to where he was and accidently ended up hitting him in the face with Saoirse's hockey stick. It was the stomping that pissed me off. She does it all the time and it sounds just terrible.

I ended up taking her and Saoirse. Because Liam wasn't with me, and because he is such a fussy dresser, I ended up getting him just one pair of shorts. Army ones,I knew he'd love them (and he did.) I got a pair of shorts for William, a bag for myself and a t-shirt that says "Little Miss Perfect" for Saoirse. Well, she is so I just had to didn't I? Taylor got the lion's share...a pair of ladies shoes (I cannae believe she can wear women's shoes!- only one size smaller than me), 3 pairs of capris, a skirt, 2 tees and a lovely tank top. She's so grown up it's almost frightening. But, um, not grown up enough to willingly brush her hair.

She has had a bad week at school. Her teacher has been getting on at her about the way she holds her pen, which I will admit is terrible. She literally makes a fist. I have tried changing it for years. When I was last in England my grandparents and I went to a left handed shop in Worcester where my grandfather proceeded to spend plenty of money on stuff for Taylor... triangular shaped markers, rulers, scissors, pen grips. It didn't change the way she writes though, just made it more comfortable to write like that. Taylor is a third generation leftie, there is no changing the fact that she holds a pen oddly. Nothing like myself granted, but I don't hold mine like my mother holds hers either. She doesn't do what many lefties do and hold her elbow in the air, which I find really odd. ANYWAY, (jeesh, I can go on...sorry!) I have been getting a lecture from my mother, and via her, my grandad, about how I cannot let him go on about Taylor and the way she holds her pen. So today she's on the phone with my mum and I hear this story about what happened today. That in front of the entire class he went on at her about this, and she needs to hold her pen the way he does.

"My mum says I don't."
"Well, I'm your teacher."
"But my mum says I don't have to do it your way."
"I'll just have to give your mom a call." (Note, they always use an o, not a u, when they say mum, in Grade 2 Taylor had her journal corrected for using u instead of o for the word mummy, this from a teacher who cannot spell words like colour the Canadian way, I did have to point out that we do live in Canada, not the States. Again, I'm wandering.)
"You go right ahead."

I am quite amazed that Taylor spoke up, she must realize she has the power of her Nanny on her side, who has threatened to go down to the school herself if I don't deal with this issue. And she can be a rather scary person. She uses a posh English accent, her phone voice I call it, it's fake; she's from Birmingham for fecks sake. I wouldn't want to have to deal with her. So tonight a wrote a letter and here's the jist....

"I would prefer that you do not go on at Taylor about the way she uses her pen...embarassing for her to be singled out for such a minor issue...I feel you have bigger concerns from other students in your class that should be dealt with first." (Totally true, there is at least one future serial killer in that class, a racist or two, a few homophobes, and a handful of children who will one day see the inside of a court room for the odd crime or two. Their teacher however, beleives they should learn good behaviour through their fine Catholic religion, and if you aren't Catholic you are not a good person. Needless to say there is no discipline in that class.)
I ended the letter with "It is no longer the 1950s. Left handed children do not get slapped across the hand for not using their right hands." Which is what happened to my mother until my grandfather had a holy fit. So I will see if I get a response from her teacher or if he just leaves Taylor alone.

In my great news of the day, my Stampin' Up stuff arrived. You will not know the joy this brings me unless you are into card making or scrapbooking. I ordered the Tidy Alphabet and numbers as well as a Pearl Assortment. Och, I am so excited to use it. I thought the alphabet would be great for scrapbook pages. I may even try it out in the near future. I just need to develop some 1000 pictures. Damn. There goes the good day!

Becoming a big girl

This post is really late. Last Sunday (not the one 2 days ago, the one way back in May) Saoirse wouldn't put a nappy on. We had been noticing lately that when her nappy is quite full she lets us know and had been saying that we thought she might be ready for potty training. So anyway, she was without a nappy and was standing by me playing and she went "ooooohhhh" and promptly peed on my foot. There was no time to pick her up, she just finished where she was. My sock got quite wet, she managed to get very little on the carpet. Talk about aim.

So we decided that it was time to bring out the potty. She was quite fascinated with it and in the last week has decided it is a good place to hide keys and fruit loops. I went to the mall that same day and bought her big girl panties (Care Bears and some regular old Fruit of the Looms- I wanted Sesame Street, but the smallest size is a 3.) She was quite happy with the Care Bears, and immediately put on a pair of "bear." She ran around in those for awhile and would sit down on her potty quite often. When it was time for the real thing, she was alone in the livingroom with William and Liam. She started to go and William didn't even manage to get her panties down, he just sat her on the potty. She had her first semi successful pee.
She was too upset to appreciate that we were all thrilled with her (with the exception of Liam, who found the whold thing gross as 10 year olds are liable to do.)

We didn't worry about potty training the rest of the week, as she got sick with a touch of the stomach flu. Now what she does is runs around without a nappy until she knows she has to pee and then seh brings me a nappy to put on. No interest in the potty whatsoever, except as a step stool and hiding spot. Maybe she's not quite ready, but soon.

That same day, she also moved to a booster seat, so it was goodbye highchair. My baby really is growing up.

It's just that sort of day.

Didn't I bloody well tell you?

Dear Carolina Hurricane players,

You lot certainly don't listen very well. Did I not ask you to please lose this series in four so you could spare my family torment? Didn't I say my wee Liam would get picked on for cheering for you?

So what did you do? You went and won the game! Oh, you teased me pretty well, letting the Oilers get a 3-0 lead. That was nice of you. And then you went and won it 5-4! I was at a meeting so I missed the game and I still don't know what you did to our poor goalie, but I see he's out for the rest of the series. There's an awful lot of pressure on poor Conklin now. And I'm just now sure he can pull it off.

But I digress. Let me tell you what happened to Liam today. He was tripped for his support of you. He had his two Hurricane flags that he had made taken off of him and ripped apart. I said to him that I told him this is what would happen if he blatantly supported a team that no one else was supporting. I told him that there was no point in being upset. He did not listen. He got his revenge when you won, I guess.

And I'll tell you a wee secret. I was actually sort of happy that you won, just for Liam's sake. But that's enough, boys. I fully expect nothing but losses from now on. Yours, not the Oilers. Let's just make that clear.

Thanks,
Emma

Names, names, names

Stolen right from emmakirst

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street): Toby 182 (come on, I live in a city full of numbers)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite candy): Mamie Arriba

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name followed by izzle", first two or three letters of your last name followed by "dizzle"): Eizzle Mcdizzle

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal): Green Kangaroo

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born): Jayne Birmingham (well, it should actually be Jayne Sutton Coldfield)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice): Emmlor Nonnon (that would be for none, since I don't have a pet)

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mother's maiden name spelled backwards): Enyaj Rolyat

8. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive): The Green Nada (again, cause I don't bloody well have one...how depressing is this!!!!)

The chocaholic

First, let me say that I know this is not the most flattering picture of Saoirse ever seen.

However, due to excessive chocolate intake (part of her dad's Cadbury Flake) she was a wee bit hyper and was dancing. Never interrupt a girl and her dance routine. Normally when I pull out the camera she looks right at it and is all smiles. It is impossible just to get a shot of her doing what she does. Of course, the one day I want her to pose she won't and it is only now that I realize that I should have taken a picture of her dancing, because she is absolutely hilarious. That girl will be a laugh at school dances.

Anyway, William had to grab her and sit her on his lap and she is sort of struggling to get down. But not very hard. Because the only thing better than dancing is a cuddle with Daddy.