While at work on Wednesday, I stopped in at my mum's department to pick up some charts. She told me that she would be leaving for England on Friday, and my brother would come with her. My nan is dying. I cried, like I haven't cried in ages. I left my mum's office and cried my way throughout emergency. Telling someone that her grandmother is dying in a hospital setting is probably not the best choice to make. The hospital is full of elderly women, and that made me think of my nan. Which set off the water works everytime. My boss is fantastic, she let me go home. I have had 30 some hours to process this news and it still makes me cry.
Almost 4 years ago my nan had a stroke. My grandad had just come into some money and they took an extended trip to Portugal. They hadn't been home very long when my nan started complaining of headaches. She had gone into town one day with one of her friends (as she did everyday) and came home early due to a bad headache. She complained to my grandad about feeling very dizzy and he went to phone an ambulance. When he came back into the room she was lying on the floor.
She was left paralyzed on the left side, which was devastating to her as she had always been extremely active. She had a holiday to Scotland planned for the next week and was supposed to be coming to Canada that summer. But she was alive, and for that we were all grateful. My grandad decided to move down to the south of England, where my aunt lives, as he wanted to be near family and there's no one left in Birmingham.
There have been ups and downs in the last few years. My nan has been lucky enough to have all three of her daughters with her at times (something that had not happened since 1984) as my other aunt moved back to England and my mother would go over 2 times a year. She was very ill just before this summer and they had thought that she might not make it, but she did and Taylor got to see her. I am happy for Taylor that she had a chance to be with her great nan again. It had been too long.
As for me, I saw my nan 5 months before the stroke, when I spent a week in England. Part of me is glad that I am not the one going with my mum on this trip, as I will only remember her as the way she was prior to the stroke. She is very different now. I remember her as very tiny but because she is permanantly in a wheelchair she has put on a lot of weight. She was always very outgoing and happy. She no longer shows emotion, she can hardly even smile. The other part of me is devastated that I am not going. I would like a chance to say goodbye, to tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am for my selfish teenage years. She was (and still is) a beautiful, wonderful lady and I will miss her more than I can say.