Slacking off

I am not sure what's up with me but I am feeling very blah these days. Blah can not even begin to describe the terrible bitchy mood I have been in the last wee while. Here it is December, my favourite month and I, quite frankly, am a miserable cow.

I have been particularly lazy also. I had a meeting tonight and it was only today that I even started the minutes from last month's meeting. I just had zero interest in doing them. I am suffering from volunteer burn out I think. William always says I need to prioritize and I think he is totally right. Perhaps my New Years resolution will be to drop some of these things from my schedule. Then perhaps I can focus on my family.

Look at that...I feel better already. I'd still yell at one of the kids if they walked down the stairs right now, but it would be yelling because they are being a pain in the arse, not because I am stressed all out. Sometimes you just have to write that you're in a shite mood to pull yourself out of the shite at least a wee bit.

I am off Christmas shopping tomorrow. Liam had decided to go to Red Deer with his dad for the holiday. Ah crap, here comes the shite mood again. That really has me down. I will miss him like crazy, but I know his dad misses them at Christmas as well and I have had both Taylor and Liam with me every year since we split up. So I will let him go with as few as tears as possible. The dilemma is what presents do I send him with? I don't want to send them all as I would like to see him open at least a few. I think I will send down one or two Santa presents and his Christmas Eve pajamas. He hates the Christmas Eve pajamas, but I always say it is tradition and one day he will appreciate it. I suppose I could get him boxers and a t-shirt instead.

After tomorrow I should have most everything done... just a few odds and ends and those last minute gifts I always end up getting. I have to say I am not as excited about Christmas as I used to be. I still would say it's my favourite day of the year, but there's just something about Christmas when you're a kid. I used to count down the days and the closer it got, the slower I wanted time to go so that the excitement of it all would last longer. And of course when you're little it's all about what you are going to get (and if you tell me it wasn't like that for you I will call you deluded or a liar.) Now, I am excited about what I am giving. I would much rather have extra presents under the tree for the kids or William than for me. This doesn't mean I am not giving William a list of things I want, of course I am, I am no fool. But I ask for sensible things, the things I actually need, like the frying pan my mum is giving me for my birthday. And books of course, since I seem to have run out of things to read.

I am getting so desperate for fresh reading material I am now reading Taylor's books. I just finished a book that Taylor bought while in England called the Illustrated Mum. I have to say it was quite enjoyable, very amusing and sad also. So I have just admitted that I love children's literature. I do, I do. I reread the Little House series every couple of years. It pains me terribly that Taylor never got into those books. One of life's great disappointments really. They were my favourite books as a child. I also loved the Famous Five, another series Taylor has no interest in.

The worst thing about posting is that I rarely know how to properly end them. So I'm just going to go. No rhyme or reason really.