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*WARNING: Whingy post ahead.*
I am off to the doctor in the morning. I took a walk over to the medicentre this morning but it was closed yesterday and today. (I don't go to my family doctor because he is a quack. If anyone knows of a good doctor in Edmonton who will not say "That is a parenting issue" when I question him about my then 6 year old daughters daily temper tantrums or that fair haired children get sick more often than dark haired ones and who is actually accepting new patients please let me know.) The medicentre is literally a block away from my house and by the time I came home I was winded.
Seriously? What the?
If you recall in my birthday post when I said I was weepy I still am. And no, I am not pregnant. The thought had crossed my mind. Especially with the hard belly that looks like it is about 4 months along. I think it's a hernia. I'm pretty sure it's a hernia. When I am very paranoid it becomes a tumour. I joke about it but the thought of hearing it is something very very serious has put me off from going to the doctor for over a year.
Stupid? Yes.
Initally I put off going because I was quite sure my weight would be brought up. A matter of my intestines and whatnot moving around to accomodate all the fat therefore causing a hardish tummy rather than just a flabby tummy. Does that even happen? Certainly for pregnancy, but for fat?
Now I have to go. I know she will bring up my weight, but I have been in so much pain the last few weeks that I can suck it up and hear all about how fat I am. In fact, I will bring my weight up first so that she doesn't have to do anything but agree with me. Better I comment on it than someone else. (Which is why I do it so much on here.)
Here is my written out list for the doctor, so that I don't forget anything:
Stomach pains...top of belly button popped out (I know...gross)...hernia?
Back pain...increasing...get out bed/chair like I am 95 going on 120.
Tired. All the freaking time.
Depressed. Crying. Stressed out. Constantly yelling at 2 oldest children. Do not have energy for 2 youngest. Can not clean house...tired after sweeping kitchen floor...need to go sit down for 10 minutes before starting again. Can not deal with the mess that is my life. Falling apart. Falling afuckingpart.
I'm also asking to be put on effexor. I am not a big fan of pills, I have a really hard time swallowing them but I just can't handle things right now.
I am dreading tomorrow, mostly because I really am paranoid. In my head I am quite sure that it is a hernia. But on my birthday, when I was so miserable all day long and William apologized for ruining my birthday (which he so didn't) it all came out...how scared I was that there might actually be something really wrong. I didn't even realize until I was crying in his arms that it was my fear of this that had kept me from the doctor. That my joking about it really wasn't joking about it.
I hope I'm just paranoid.
28 December, 2007
Sick and tired
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11 comments:
Oh girl. Good for you, going with a list of questions/issues. I despise going to the doctor as well, but find that it's much easier when I'm calling the shots. I'm the one saying the what's what and who's who.
Good luck, let us know how you make out. Crossing fingers that it's not a hernia.
Btw, this post was not whiney. When you read further into mine, you'll know whiney! lol.
Oh Emma - bless your heart.
I hope you find out it's only a matter of needing a good 'clear out' and nothing more serious.
Try a colonic cleanse. Seriously - if you're tummy is hard - it could just be that;0.
Emma I sure hope there is nothing seriously wrong. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you.
If we can't whine at each other, who the heck can we whine at? You already know that you need to take care of you so you can take care of them...lol.
Good luck at the doctor. I'll keep you in my prayers.
I'm so sorry you have this going on. I hope it is nothing too serious. Not that a hernia is no big deal, but you know what I mean. I'm sending up a little prayer and I hope the dr visit goes well.
oh honey! I am so sorry. that is so scary and frightful. I will be thinking of you and praying for you.
I hope that everything is okay.
I'm so sorry Emma.
Little good it does, but try not to worry until you KNOW something.
Take care.
Lisa
Hope everything is okay Emma, I'll be thinking of you.
Take Care
I so hope you are okay, and it is best to face the fear and get it fixed even if it is a hernia. Our Nephew in Law is getting one fixed in January. Joy and I are on a similar vitamin regiment for energy and feeling better and such so if you are interested in that, just ask either of us (it was coincidental, I told someone on a different blog about it and she happened to visit the same blog and said she takes the same thing). I hope all goes well with the doctor. Good idea to take a list.
Emma, I just wanna give you a big huge hug!!! I am so sorry. I know you must be worried, it would be odd if you weren't. I am sure it is nothing more than a hernia and I will be looking out for an update and thinking of you.
You'll be relieved to know that the top of your belly button all popped out is totally a hernia. And how do I know this, prey tell?! Cuz I have one! Attractive? No. A good conversation starter? Absolutely.
As for Effexor? That's two for two. I'm on it as well. If not for that, I'd likely be divorced right now. But on that note, and I know you don't read her, but Dooce recently wrote an entry all about taking pills for the well being of (her) mental health. It was quite an interesting read...
http://dooce.com/2007/12/13/because-i-couldnt-say-it-phone
I've also been on Paxil - also very good, and the pills are MUCH smaller than Effexor...
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