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Last May, I wrote about my friend Janine's mother being diagnosed with stomach cancer and how she was given 3 to 6 months. Janine and I were talking one day soon after and she said how badly she wished she had a child so her mum would have a grandchild. She didn't want to get pregnant solely for that reason, of course, she was finally in a successful relationship and was ready to start a family.
The family started planning a vacation to Nova Scotia, a province her mother wanted to visit. They went in August and on that holiday Janine discovered she was pregnant. In November, Janine and Tom were married.
We spent Christmas Day, as we do every year, at my mum's house with Janine's parents. Janine's family celebrates on Christmas Eve so this year she spent the actual day with her new husband's family. Her mum looked fantastic, a bit thinner than she has been in the past and ahe was feeling well. She was by this point into Month 7.
In early January, Janine had an ultrasound in which they discovered she was carrying twins. Her mum was at the scan and was, of course, beyond thrilled. They had decided before hand not to find out the sex, but with twins they figured they should. Janine phone the clinic and found out she was carrying girls.
Today, Janine stopped by for a visit (and to give me a thank you gift card from Old Navy for $100- I love good friends) and I asked how her mum was. Not very good it turns out, she has no appetite at all, is constantly nauseus and has lost twelve pounds in one week. Janine suggested to her that she get a prescription for marijuana and it is something she is considering.
Janine is 31 weeks pregnant and the babies will be delivered at 38 weeks. Will her mum still be here to see those girls? I just don't know and I can't even begin to imagine what that family must be going through. A month ago, she was so healthy that the plan was she would come and help Janine out and now what? What happens if she dies right before the girls are born? The thought is heartbreaking. How difficult would it be to know your mother just missed seeing them? My mother and I discussed some time ago that we thought she was waiting to see the girls, but for some reason I thought that it would be a turn around and I never pictured her not being there to see them learn to crawl, to walk, to go off to kindergarten.
It's the saddest thing, really.
Tomorrow I am going to be back to being bitchy rather than depressing and tell you all about my crazy neighbour. Crazy I tell you.
29 March, 2007
I just don't understand the way the world works
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21 comments:
Wow that is so sad. Happy that your friend is pregnant and carrying twins but sad her and her mom are so close and the days seem to be coming to an end for her mom. Here's hoping she will have the strength to hold on til the babies are born and each day after that. It really is the saddest thing.
Emma, what a sad situation. I really hope Janine's mum can hang on for the birth of her grandchildren. I also wish Janine strength in this time of adversity.
It's so sad Emma, life can be so unfair. I guess I had a similar situtation - I fell pregnant about six months after my dad passed away, I always thought he would be there to see his grandchildren. Then when Sasha (my eldest) was sixteen months old my mum passed away, again I always thought my mum would be around to see her grandchildren. It's very, very hard to lose a parent. I'm sure your friends mum is just glad that she can be with her daughter now and share in her pregnancy, every day becomes a gift.
Ohh... that is a sad story. I'm not good at dealing with the sad. No. I am better at the bitchy.
How freakin' sad. I feel for them. I'm no good with sad, that's why I chose not to go into palliative care type of nursing. Me I rather the teaching aspect. I hope all goes well with them.
what a horrible experience for them! Not to be morbid, but they should try to make a video tape of her just in case. That way the twins will still get to know their grandma.
I, too, prefer bitchy rather than sad. The world is a f***ed up place when good decent people go through things like that and mean, sadistic people just do whatever they want.
I hope they all make it through safely, and that her mom can at least see them once.
That is incredibly sad. How horrible for Janine to be losing her own mother just as she is about to become one. I can't imagine what she is going through. I hope that her mom is here at least long enough to meet her two granddaughters and hopefully her even longer.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as well as Janine and her family.
I hope Janine's mom can make it until at least she can hold her grandbabies. The fact that Janine is pregnant may certainly be helping her mom fight to stay alive.
I HATE cancer! I have lost far to many family members to and have a friend whose daughter has been dealing with it for 2 years. Its just not fair...
I really hope she can pull through this time so she can hold those little girls...and not just to hold them but to see them grow.
Ach Emma, that's too sad. My Dad died 6 years ago so hasn't met my little man nor will he meet this one. It is too much for me to deal with at times, the injustice of it, how proud he would have been of my boy, how much he would have loved him. I feel so bad for your friend, nothing is going to make this better for her. It's the cycle, we can't do anything about it, hope that we can be there for our kids when they're older and need us and love as much as we can the people that are here right now.
Sigh - it sucks, it really does.
Boliath xx
Oh Emma..I will hope that her Mum holds on.
My post today is about cancer and it's ugliness and striving for a cure.
God Bless Janine and her Mom and those twins and you for being such a good friend.
Stupid cancer. :(
Best wishes to your friend and her mom...it would be so nice for the twins to meet their grandmother.
I enjoy your blog. I enjoy being bitchy myself, but sometimes, you just have to download the sad things, too. Can't wait to hear about the crazy neighbor. We have a few around here, too.
Such a hard situation... :( I'm sorry I don't have anything to say to make it better...
How wonderful that she's carrying twins, but so sad that her mom won't see them grow up. I agree that these things just don't make sense sometimes.
gosh how sad. I don't know what to say other than I am holding hope that there will be a positive outcome to all this!
Life is not fair but I hope Janine's mother is able to see her grandchildren. I shall keep her in my thoughts and prayers.
Emma, I was thinking about this over the weekend - see you're not the only one that thinks about blogs when you're "offline" and I realised that the dreams I have had about dead people have comforted me somewhat - freaked me the fuck out too - and in a completely illogical way, I feel like my Dad has let me know that he does know my son and is looking out for us. Maybe your friend will have those dreams too, I hope so, and I 2nd the thought above that a video of Grandma would be a lovely thing to have. Probably way too upsetting for a long while, but oh so nice too.
That's so sad.
I really hope Janine's mum is still around to meet her grandaughters.
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