It's not a meme

...it's a youyou and I'm lifting it from Britmum. You are supposed to list something about 50 people you know. Tell me if you see yourself.

1. You stabbed me in the eye with a knife when we were both 2.
2. For my sixth birthday, you gave me a card with a dollar in it at school because you were unable to come to my party. I said "Where's the present?" Thinking about that embarrasses me. When Taylor and Liam were little I always reminded them to say thank you to every gift no matter what it was. It was a lesson well learned I guess.
3. I missed you when you stopped blogging and was glad to see you come back. I think that you, more than anyone, understands my situation.
4. You are Taylor's godmother and my oldest friendship. We barely ever see each other anymore. You are expecting twin girls, your first children.
5. We are friends, but I find you very condescending and racist and I have a hard time with that.
6. We spent a weekend sharing a room and I never once saw you without makeup! You massaged my calf when I had cramps at 4 in the morning and I was very grateful.
7. You broke my heart when I was 15. You threatened me when I was 16. You choked me when I was 17. You broke up with me when I was 18.
8. We clicked over books. 7 years later we are still great friends and still trading books.
9. You are an alcoholic. You deny it. You drink all morning and sleep in the afternoon. I worry about your son.
10. You are one of the funniest bloggers I read. Your poo stories make me want to pee my pants.
11. I met you on the first day of Grade 7. You thought I looked mean and would beat you up. I was wearing yellow, ffs. I was just shy and didn't smile.
12. I met you on the first day of Grade 7 too. I sat behind you. When you turned around to say hello I thought you had hairs growing out of your nose. I had never heard of blackheads before.
13. You were my penpal. We met in England when I was 18 and went to Amsterdam together.
14. You were my best friend in elementary school, but you weren't really. You could turn on people for nothing. And you did it to me often.
15. You are 5 days older than me. Our mothers were best friends. Everytime I would see you on holidays to England I would develop a crush on you and talk about you for ages after we came home.
16. You slept with our cousin and left your husband for him. It was weird. We have never really talked since.
17. I am jealous of how many comments you get on your blog.
18. You are a nasty piece of work.
19. You lost your eye in an explosion during the Troubles. You drank away the compensation money.
20. You are my daughter's all time favourite teacher. Even though she hasn't had you in two years you sent her a Valentine's Day card.
21. You were my favourite teacher in junior high. You sent me a postcard from Montreal. You taught me French and Religion.
22. Sometimes, I wish I had your life.
23. I met you in Tenerife when I was 18. You made my holiday worthwhile. I wish we had kept in touch for longer.
24. We were friends in Grade 10. You told so many lies and got so caught up in them that you ended up transferring schools.
25. You lost your baby when he was 2 days old.
26. We have become good friends this past year, and I will miss you when you move.
27. Because of your boyfriend, there was a drug bust in our neighbourhood last night.
28. You turned on your best friend for purely selfish reasons.
29. I met you in Grade 10. You made me a New Order tape. You are the only person from highschool that I still talk to.
30. You were burned in a fire when you were little, but you are so confident and comfortable with who you are. I admire that.
31. You had the smelliest breath ever.
32. You once wrote on my essay "If you got this mark for work done this morning, imagine what your mark would have been had you done it the night before!" I find myself saying similar things to Taylor.
33. You let us mark our own Social 20 midterm. Foolish, foolish.
34. You told me if I got fat you would divorce me.
35. I love the funny things your children say, and the posts you write about them.
36. Your two children are very close in age to my two youngest. I hope you don't stop blogging.
37. I love how candid you are about your depression.
38. I have never met you, but I think we would be great friends.
39. In the fifth grade, we were put in a group of four to talk about our summer vacations. I was so excited to talk about my trip to England, Wales and France but you spent the entire time talking about some ball crawl at Disneyland.
40. You told me you were divorced and I very foolishly believed you.
41. You were the first person I ever kissed. For 2 years afterwards, I couldn't look at any pictures of you without turning red.
42. You are Liam's godfather. You split up with my cousin and moved to California. You have not seen Liam since his first birthday. He will be 11 next Thursday.
43. Someone told me you physically attack your 13 year old daughter. I hope this is not true.
44. You stopped talking to me when you became a born again Christian.
45. You had the smallest penis I had ever seen in my life. Not that size matters.
46. I love your scrapbook pages.
47. I wish you would stop accusing her son of making fun of your son.
48. You are the most patient mother I have ever met.
49. We weorked together for 2 years and I never liked you.
50. Even though we have had some hard times, you are the love of my life.