Mopey

Today was not a fun day. I don't know what's wrong with me...I'm so down. For no real reason. I was grumpy this morning because William left me a note saying he was coming home for lunch. And it's not that I don't want him to come home, it's just that today was his work's monthly barbeque and he planned on going but changed his mind. I worry about how anti-social he is. He doesn't want to do anything. Even his work Christmas party, he just wants to eat and leave. I know he suffers from anxiety and I know he doesn't like crowds but it is so hard for me to understand. And it frustrates me. It frustrates me that I don't get him. (But his new job...I sort of like them. A monthly barbeque, Christmas parties for adults and one for kids, $20 a week just for showing up on time every day. Nothing wrong with that. A bonus in the New Year, I hear too. Yep, I sort of like them. Not sure that William feels the same way though.)

I was grumpy because my dad showed up unexpected. I hate that. It's not that I don't love my dad it's just that I hate people just showing up. Especially at 8.45 in the morning when I am snoozing on the couch with Saoirse and still in my jammies with unwashed hair. And when they stay for 3 hours when I have a ton of stuff to do and am babysitting to boot.

I was grumpy because Sophie was absolutely miserable today. I was trying to clean out my linen closet (not on my list, but still needed to be done) and she was all over me whinging and crying. I was a bad mother today.

I was grumpy because I just can not keep up with this house. A giant blue bag of recycling sat in the kitchen for 3 days before I finally took it out myself. I wanted to see how long it was before Taylor did it, since she says recycling is her job not the garbage. And the garbage! How long would it have been before one of the other able bodied people in this house emptied the can? Would it have to be overflowing to the floor? The lid wouldn't even close when I did it today. I am tired of cleaning only to have Taylor and Liam walk in the door and within 15 minutes it looks as though they have undone what I did. I really need a bigger house. I need more people spread out space. I can't even turn in my kitchen without bumping into someone. If you read that Fun Monday from ages ago you know how small it is.

I was grumpy because this evening I wanted to take Taylor to the mall for new boots. Then Liam decided he wanted to come and get new runners. And I decided to take Saoirse. Saoirse asked for 4 different things and cried each time I said no. This is a new habit and it is driving me crazy. I did not get Taylor boots. I did not get Liam new runners. He wants Pumas. I said why didn't you tell me before Shelley went to Las Vegas and I could have asked her to pick them up. So much cheaper there than here. I said if he wants them then they have to be a Christmas gift. I am not spending $100+ on shoes a month before Christmas and not making them a Christmas gift. My mum is going to see if my aunt is going to Seattle and will she pick them up. I did however get myself a new winter coat. It was on sale but I forgot the $10 gift card. I also managed to get Taylor some Christmas gifts. 5 pairs of panties from La Senza girl (but I think they might be too big), along with an interchangable watch in 2 shades of purple (her fave) and silver and some body butter. Then at Zellers I found the first season of 8 Simple Rules, which was something she had asked for last year. Now the only person who has no gifts is Liam. Well I did have one but his father bought him the same thing and won't return his. And his father! Did he ever piss me off last night. Frickin ass.

Just realized I have NO gifts for Liam. Ah crap. Damn William for being so nice and giving him the Wii!

I think I am going to get my grumpy ass off the computer and go and read. Thanks Debbie for mentioning my brand new bought-because-you-liked-it book on your blog.